Monday, May 11, 2009

Be a Rebel... Rebel... Rebel...


REBELZ - Check out the poster above - I guess that will tell you what this blog is about. Yes the rebellious mates of mine are back with a bang oops sorry two bangs. Those who are at Chennai, kindly check this out and those who are not at Chennai, please book your tickets to Chennai and check out the Rebelz. I can guarantee you that your money will not go wasted. Moreover a friend of mine is acting in one of the plays, I am not going to name who she is, as I don’t want to be whacked if she doesn’t act properly. Just kidding, I don’t want to put her under pressure, so her name will be revealed after the play. Those who can guess who my friend is after you see that play, then you will be rewarded with a pint of beer when I come down to Chennai. So BE A REBEL REBEL REBEL . . .

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

How Emma Watson fell in love with me?

24th April 2009 - 10:00 A.M.

I was sitting in my office as usual waiting for my clients to pay m

e the fees when my secretary called me and said,

“Boss we have a new client and he insists that he has to meet you perso

nally”

“Are you sure he wants to meet me?”

“Yes he insists”

“Did you show him the sign board?”

“Will I miss it? I need some forgiveness for the sins I commit with you” (Read this in a non sexual sense)

“Alright send him in”

(Knock at the door)

“Yes come in”


Enters in our Karthik, phew, I thought its someone innocent who has become a victim of me, now that its Karthik I know its going to be easy. “Yes da machan, what do you want”

“Machi I am in love with a girl da”

“Is she in love with you?”

“That’s what I want to know, Can you help me?”

“Anything for you da, shoot”

“Can you write a love letter to that girl?”

“I wont mind doing that da, but are you sure you want me to write it???”

“Yes Please”

“Alright leave me the address I will draft one and send it to her”

“Ok here is the address,

Ms Emma Watson,

No. 6 Vivekanandhar Road,

London Main Road,

London Cross Cut Road,

London – 0 00 000

United States of Kingdom.”

“Are you sure this is the address? It looks like an FM ad”

“I am dead sure da”

“Alright you go then – will send the letter and send you the

acknowledgement”

“Ok Bye”

“Bye”

He left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

27th April 2009 - 10.00 A.M.

The letter is drafted and is lying on my table which reads:

RE: NOTICE OF LOVE

Dear Emma Watson,

We act Messrs Karthik & Co.,

Our client’s instructed to serve this Notice of Love upon you.

We are happy to inform you that our client fell in love with you on Friday the 13th day of March, 2009. This is in reference to the movie he saw which featured you on the 10th day of March, 2009 at 15.12.

Our client also wishes to state that the probationary period of love will start immediately from 00.00 hours tonight for a period of three months. Depending on the performance of you in,

a) bed,

b) party,

c) restaurant,

d) house,

e) toilet

and notwithstanding his atrocities after he gets high over a cup of coke, could become permanent.

Our client wants to impose the following terms and conditions to this relationship;

1) The costs incurred during the process of this relationship, initially, should be shared between you and him in equal shares. Later, based on the growth of this relationship, our client will take a larger share of the costs.

2) After entering into the permanent period of relationship, you should not expect our client to change his habits of digging nose, farting loudly during lunch/dinner, scratching himself competing with your dog, speaking good English.

3) In the event of break up, you are supposed to return all the gifts, cards, letters given by our client to you and should not expect our client to do the same.

4) If the relationship goes to a stage where you enter into wedlock with our client all the expenses for the wedding shall be born by you.

5) The proposal stands void ab initio when you ask our client to marry you at the soonest and/or threatening to commit suicide and/or probing about the sexual interests of our client and/or hiding the previous marriage of yours from our client.

Please revert with an answer within 14 days of receipt of this notice. Otherwise, this proposal will become null and void without further notice, and our client will consider other candidates.

Also present proposal is losing its force in the event of unforeseen circumstances, force majeure, which could impede the implementation of this proposal.(These, in particular, but not limited to, include: military operations, natural disasters, legislative acts, acts of internal affairs, national security and military forces, deliberate hostile actions of your previous partners.)

With Best Regards,

Arunkumar Gunasekaran

Writer’s email id : arunkumar_guna@yahoo.com

Writer’s DID: 97710345”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6th May 2009 - 10.00 A.M.

Karthik enters in.

“Machi is that ready?”

“Yes have a look” (he reads. Read the next line after 3minutes and 23 seconds)

“Thanks da, its awesome, can you send it on my behalf?”

(With a glee in my voice) “Me??? Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Sexy da, Will do”

“Ok da I have to go and click the ads in my blog page – got my ad sense approved”

(Still with the glee in the voice) “Ok da bye” (he leaves)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know what I did? I sent the notice with this stamp at the back side of the envelope.

The rest is history. Cheers.

~~~MORAL OF THE STORY~~~

Never use a lawyer to convey your love

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Arjuna’s Presence of mind…

This is a new series in my blog – about my theatre days. Actually these days starts right from my 3rd standard when I started acting in the school plays like the Three Kings who brings gift to Jesus Christ, Panchali Sabhatham (Draupadi Vastra Haran), Little Peta Rabbit and so on. I am going to tag this under the head AVALON DAYS named after my theatre group Avalon Theatre Productions. There are several funny incidences on and off the stage during the plays, short film shoots and cast parties. Everything will be penned down here. Hope this will put a smile on your face, to start with let me tell you about Draupadi Vastra Haran drama.

This is the play we did during my 6th Standard at School. Most of you know the story where the Pandavas play the game of dice with the Gauravas and they will lose everything they had and finally pledge Draupadi/Panchali and lose her as well, then she will brought to the courtyard and will be stripped by the evil Dukshadana. What happened was, as it’s a boys school (yeah unfortunately I was put in a boys school from 6th to 12th) the Draupadi role was played by a girl like boy who was very thin, the Dukshadhan character was played by a very rough and tough boy. I played the role of Arjuna, I am always given an ordinary role, one in the corner with just one or two lines of dialogues. During the rehearsals we didn’t had the saree tied on Draupadi so it was just an air action then. On the day of the play, the primary school teacher brought two sarees in the same color and pinned it and tied it on the guy who played Draupadi and mind you he had his uniform shorts inside it. She also strictly warned the guy who played Dukshadhan not to pull the saree with force and told him to over act and does it slowly till the music stops (the background music was from some old movie). So everything was set we were on stage. Let me give a live commentary on the specific incident;

Fast forwarding the initial scenes we are now at the scene where Draupadi is in the court yard and us the Pandavas all having our heads bent, Dukshadhan starts to pull the saree and Draupadi calls for our help, and we are not helping her as we were slaves ourselves, so she calls Lord Krishna and Lord Krishna appears (he was my class leader hmph). So Dukshadan started pulling the saree bit by bit, we can see it going and going but unfortunately the final pin was not intact with the Draupadi’s shorts that the saree came out fully and Draupadi was standing there with shorts.

The entire school started laughing. The guy who played Draupadi was so embarrassed, that’s when our Arjuna came to the rescue with his presence of mind, he stood up and said, “Hail Krishna, the mighty lord, you are simply great, you have given shorts to Draupadi to protect her modesty, Jai Sri Krishna…” the whole college burst into laughter and claps and whistles were on my way. After this I always got the plump roles…

Thursday, April 2, 2009

April Fooler...

Dear all,

How did the day go yesterday? How many of you fooled others and got fooled by others? Well I fooled 31 just with a status message “Arun Kumar is getting married…you are invited…ping me for more details...thanks to astrologers”.


Ha Ha Ha… I am giving you the excerpts of the chat scripts… and special thanks to G3 akka for your post here, appreciating/depreciating me.


Nithi: congrats

me: Thanks :)

Nithi: who is she

me: that XXX girl u know her right...

Nithi: humm dont know i thnik

me: please keep yourself free in July... Marriage at thanjavur, everyone will be invited from your class and you know her

Nithi: hey r u serious

me: she is in my orkut albums will someone joke on this?

Nithi: i thought u r joking

me: because the astro guys said now or never

Nithi: u can and are oh ur Mom agreed to it

me: yes yes- she only checked the astro guy fixed this thing i told her no marriage before 28 but she said now or never as per horoscope so fixed it...

Nithi: y a XXX y not an Indian

me: I dont mind an Indian - but u dint say yes… only this XXX girl said yes so had to marry her

Nithi: parra humm nice to hear

me: :) dont forget to be free in July...

Nithi: but to say the truth i cannot believe this

me: no one can infact even i cannot

Nithi: :D any ways one word of caution be careful since she is of different culture

me: lol about? he he he she is more indianish than me :P

Nithi: really then its not a problem

me: yeah yea...she wears saree

Nithi: but born culture cannot be done away with

me: she likes cooking, she likes kids, she likes doing house works

Nithi: super.. y she likes u.. lolz

me: ha haha opposite polls attract u see

Nithi: ya

me: innaiku Date enna Nithi?

Nithi: oh my god

Archie: hey arun.. hw r u? u gettin married.. ??

me: Hi yes same thing happened in ya life, Joshiyum and stuff

Archie: great so wen is the weddin

me: July... with that XXX girl I told u :) at Thanjavur :)

Archie: oh ok.... congrats da

me: will u be in India? Thank u :)

Archie: whts her name

me: Good dowry u know:P

Archie: heheheh ada paavi.. nuthin planned as yt of me bein india da

me: yeah her dad is gifting me an Audi :P

Archie: oooooo

me: and setting up a law firm in delhi :)

Archie: nice.................. amzinnnnnn congrats da

me: Thank u :) thank u :)

Archie: fixd a date?

me: her name is Penelope Cruz and marriage on July 32nd :P check today's date :P

Archie: poda looosu..........................

me: ha ha ha

Archie: thedi vandhu matinendaen

me: ha ha ha ha

Reena: congrats u just told me not now good for u

me: thank u thank u :)

Reena: same girl ?

me: yes the XXX.. it came just like a bolt in the clear sky because of the astrologers

Reena: good before London? after London? in London?

me: before London..

Reena: in singapore or india ?

me: India… Chennai..

Reena: congrats

Me: btw what day is today?

Reena: check with ur astrologers

me: April 1st :P

Reena: so "U" got fooled by ur astrologers

me: i dint meet my astrologers yet but someone congratulated me sometime back for my not so near marriage :P

Reena: thik hain coffee cancel

me: ha ha aha ha wont u check the date everyday ?

Reena: i am aware this time i didnt fool ne one

me: lol but got fooled by me :P

Reena: uff

Kirthi: WHAT?

me: sss :D Astrologers made it happen :) ask Amma in July marriage

Kirthi: congrats!_____? indian wedding?

me: ss of course Thanjavur Tamil Wedding :)

Kirthi: or christian kalyanam? NICE!!! :) :)14:29 congrats!

me: thank u thank u keep yourself free in July trip to thanjavur

Kirthi: certainly i will make it!! :) dei is this an April Fool Joke :P

me: appa kirthi finally u got it :P

Kirthi: lol :) Mad fellow

akansha: congratulations are under way then... :P

me: thank u thank u

akansha: penelope said yes ?

me: nope yaar.. its arranged marriage :(

akansha: hmm... kisse? ;)

me: some software engineer in chennai.. mom has looked for me... engagement and marriage in July

akansha: u r srsly gettin married? :-o

me: yes why wat u thought?

akansha: ohh... bye bye bachelor hood then

me: that girl is a software engineer + model + theatre artist so mom thought she will be the better match lol yes.. but astrologers said either to get married before august else no marriage for life...

akansha: hehe... perfect fr u then...:D what happens to ur play now? :P

me: may be i will act with her ;)

akansha: ohh... so when u r studyin in UK, wat will she be doin?

me: studying in UK canceled...i am planning to set up my office in Delhi and Chennai and practice…her father is setting her up a boutique shop in both these places

akansha: s/w engineer.... boutique?

me: if he continues to be a software engineer she will be transferred naa? so i suggested her to start a boutique

akansha: hmm....

me: as its her area- i mean fashion designing

akansha: k...ur lyf seems to hv gone topsy turvy within d last 3 dayzzzz..... :P

me: ha ha ha

akansha: no srsly... 3 days bk u were lik i m goin to UK... n now i m setting offices!

me: yeah life is not stable

akansha: so unstable! wud scare me off....

me: he he he saggitarian re wat to do

akansha: arrey i m a saggi too

me: btw do u know wat day is today???

akansha: SHIT

me: :P

akansha: arrrggghhhh! i m a non believer fr d rest f d day

akansha: i feel lik strangling ur throat rght now

me: he haw he haw he haw

akansha: hw many hv u fooled abhi tak?

me: 10 to 15

akansha: arrgh!

me: he he he he

Abinav: dude

me: yes da

Abinav: sorry forgot the date

me: :P

Abinav: took ur status message seriously for a munite

me: wish pannathanae vanthey lol :P ha ha ha vidu u r the 24th victim

Abinav: pozhappa paunga da dei… iddellam oru pozhappa

me: :P

Abinav: dinner innikku erangathu unnala

me: lol :P neraya perukku erangathu

Kanagu: hello boss

me: hi nanba

Kanagu: epo kalyanam??

me: appuram kalyanam july la

Kanagu: oh.. july la yah?? enga.. chennai ah spain ah? or thanjavur??

me: thanjavur

Kanagu: invite pannuveengala??

me: kandipaa ithu enna kelvi boss.. aana innaiku enna datenu nyabagam illama emantha 23rd aalu neenga :p

Kanagu: oh.. cha.. modhal liye karthik ku ping pannama vittutane ..oh god

me: :P

Subz: u r kidding :P

me: hey no its true its in July dont forget u r the bride;s maid

Subz: who??______?

me: yes

Subz: :O tell me d full masala

me: ok what happened is amma saw some astro guy and he said i shud get married before august else no marriage

Subz: oohhh andddd

me: so she spoke with _____ and its fixed :)

Subz: andddd?

me: we are getting married in July

Subz: wow!!!!!

me: btw welcome to the club u r the 26th victim check the date today :P

Subz: bloddy idiot!!!!! by the way 27 and 28 r my parents :P

me: :P ha ha ha u told them too :P ha ha h aha

Subz: idiot

skkrithika: hi whats this?

me: hey hi yes will send the invites soon July marriage

skkrithika: where is the wedding

me: some astro stuff amma said - ______ is the girl.. Wedding at Thanjavur..

skkrithika: cool is the date fixed? what astro stuff?

me: yes july 12th

skkrithika: wow!!!!!!!!

me: some astro guy said i shud get married by August this year

skkrithika: how come anni agreed to it

me: else will never get nmarried she said yes ... my mom spoke to her

skkrithika: ooooooooooooh how come anni agreed to it ok ok

me: krithika welcome to the club u r the 25th :P innaiku date enna

skkrithika: anna come back to india you gonna be smashed

me: :P

Me: Hi sou

Sou: hellooo congrats da

Me: thanks for what???

Sou: hahahahahahaha u gettin married rite?

Me: lol so u r the 30th :P I guess its still April 1st in US :P

Sou: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr poda.. No body fooled me other than u today huh

Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha..... U r the 30th so chillax... :P

Sou: grrr poda

varna: r u gettin married???

me: yes in July dint i tell u? i guess I told u

varna: nope cool whr?

me: ok July I am getting married to that XXX girl... Thanjavur...some astro guy told my mom that I shud get married before august else i wont get married at all...

varna: wow wow...

me: so in JULY btw u r the 31st fool :P

varna: wat abt her family?

me: to fell for this :P

varna: chi chu chi i knew this… thats y i tried not to ask u

me: nambiten :P

varna: cudnt resist da paavi

me: ha ha ha LOL :P

varna: chi panni poda


BTW

Do these people still believe me???

(In tamil) என்ன இன்னுமா இந்த ஊரு நம்பிக்கிட்டு இருக்கு?

With Love,

Lancelot

Genius Kamal ! ! !

Trisha : கண்ணோடு கண்ணைக் கலந்தாளென்றால் களங்கம் உள்ளவன் எச்சரிக்கை உடனே கையுடன் கைகோர்த்தானா ? ஒழுக்கங் கெட்டவள் எச்சரிக்கை ஆடை க...