Monday, January 19, 2009

The day when I ate Pedigree (yeah right, the Royal Dog Food)

That was one of the days where my eccentricity, my altar personality takes over my common sense. But the problem is, it’s the one which occupies my body most of the time and my Sagittarian Sun always pours alcohol to this already ‘high’ personality. I have a German Shepherd dog (the 8th one in my dog side of the family), she is now 7 years old and her name is REENA, christened by my mom. Reena has a very bitchy attitude, never listens to me and knows when to bark (she barks only when I am in a serious conversation over phone with you know who ;-)) to irritate me. We always had an attitude problem, so I just love irritating her whenever I get a chance by showing affection towards my other dogs, which she hates to the core (Possessiveness you see).

So one day I was back home from Chennai and it was dinner time, she was in her leash and taking rest as usual I started a conversation with her, calling her with names and she responded me with her fierce barks, the point is she understands my language whereas I am not that good with her language. So, I didn’t know what are the bad words she was using on me.

I am like Joey from Friends, I never like someone eating my food from my plate nor sharing it with someone. This habit of not sharing my food was my inherent quality right from my birth. I am told that once at the age of on or about 3, my mom had served me Masal Vadai in a plate. It seems she took one vadai from my plate and ate, that’s it: the end of peace treaty with my mom and historians mark it as the day when the World War III almost started. With a deadly fury in my eyes, I have stared at her and have shouted, “கக்கு மா ” (“Spit it mom”) and she was in a very delicate position as she had swallowed it before I asked her to spit and I was not ready to accept another Vadai in its place and was insisting that I want that same Vadai, my precious Vadai from my plate. My grandma had asked her to try vomiting the Vadai out to calm me down but it didn’t work, so they did some gimmicks and somehow showed as if she spit the Vadai before my eyes (see how deprived I was in my childhood, my whole family conspired against me in deceiving me and cheated me of my Vadai from my plate). The day I knew this story I wanted to revenge my mom and one fine day when she served masal vadai at home, I took one from her plate. TIT FOR TAT hmph...

Coming back to Reena, yeah I thought she would have inherited (by seeing though not by birth) my character of taking offense if someone takes her food, so I showed her, her Pedigree packet (and she knows her packet very well, she barks whenever we take the packet- I should admit she is intelligent) and told her, “Listen I am going to eat your Pedigree, what can you do?”. She just gave me a cool look and ignored me, I felt so insulted I thought she thinks I will not eat her Pedigree, I just wanted to prove her a point that I can do whatever she does, so took a handful of Pedigree and put it in my mouth and ate it with loud CRUNCH and MUNCH (“கரக் மொருக்”) and saw her face, but that freak was having the same expression in her face and I think I saw a nasty glee in her face and I felt like an ass eating the dog food just to irritate her…

P.S: By the way Pedigree was not so bad and I occasionally munched it whenever I served her food after this day…

32 comments:

Lancelot said...

before u comment (those who have read it already) sorry I deleted this post by mistake so putting it again...cheers...

Vinnie said...

Lance!!! u r barking now? any signs to doggy life ?? now that u ocassionally eat pedigree, u will be showing a couple of signs at least..did u read the label 'not for human consumption:)...thank god u cant bite me from there!!

kanaguonline said...

Its really amazing to know that you are having so many dogs in your home :)
But once again dogs have proved more intelligent than you ;)
Don't try pedigree often.. it may not behave alike in all days.. beware of it..
Amen to Vinnie's comment and LOL

GLO said...

lollu thanna unaku...
ava pavum ava undu ava pedigree undunu irunthirupa
mokka panni vachiruka neenu. nee nayi kitta bunnu vangunatha vare ellaeukitayum solluriya...

bye the way..your attitude of not sharring is just like my brother.. even he never gives me anythin from his plate. if i ask him he says "kitchen pakkathula thana irruku... enna nee sombariya...poi eduthuko...plate la kai vacha...naan thoonga porathuku munnadi remote a marachi vachiduven. appuram nee eppadi tv pape"
he is a funny little boy only eight years old

Lena said...

Poor REena, actually.. i guess she must think now that people are kinda weird, you know :P

Chriz said...

man next stop is... yesss. when ever we go near a pole, we should what to do next...

and doggy style... man i am getting lotsa silly clues and cues from your post.. crack on bro

Karthick Krishna CS said...

bro, i forgot my comment for this post..
ennavo, 40 vayasula naai buddhi varumnu sonnanga. ungalukku konjam advance.

akanksha said...

lol ! tat must be fun 4 u na ! :p c now u have almost tasted evrything on earth now ! bt frnd pls spare dog breed now n stop irritating them...ws human breed not enuf for u ?

Lancelot said...

@ Vinnie

Wuf Wuf Wuf..(thats my bark, hope u understood what i meant)...and it has no label which reads not for human consumption...and dont worry when i meet u i will bite u...

Lancelot said...

@ kanagu

what u mean by once again??he he he this is the first time she out did me...and nope pedigree is acceptable to my system...just tat i dont get it in Singapore :(

Lancelot said...

@ GLO

he he he...I am better than her anyday...and I am not like your brother I give everything my sister asks me...she is my everything - its my mom whom i share nothing...

Lancelot said...

@ Lena

Don't pity her, she is a dirty dog...she knows very well i am better than her...

Lancelot said...

@ Chriz...

he he he...i am in singapore cannot do that in public...will be cut :P and whatever clues u get may be positive or negative...keep guessing there lies the thrill :P

Lancelot said...

@ kaki

same blood

Lancelot said...

@ Akansha

thanks for dropping by and wat u mean by irritating human breed...do u mean i ve been irritating u all the while in gtalk ??? *sniff, sniff* wuf wuf wuf

Archana said...

You still eat pedigree?! manufacturing defect I guess:P

Lancelot said...

I m not getting Pedigree in this country(Singapore) so starving half the time...

G3 said...

Oru vela neenga adha saaptu paatha dhaan adhuku vera edhaavadhu nalla menuva maathuveengannu nenachirukkumo unga reena ;) aana kadaisila ippadi ultava maari neengalum pedigree saapda aarambichituteengalae ;)

Meera said...

If a dog bites a man it is not a news.
but if a man bites a dog it is a news.
So this is not a news.

simple said...

(she barks only when I am in a serious conversation over phone with you know who ;-))

Lancelot, arththam purinjirutchu... neengalum maattikitteengala.
Vungalidamirunthu ini kavithaigal yethirpaarkkalam illiya....

Lancelot said...

@ G3

Pedigree nallathaanga irunthuchu so athunalla athukku menu maralla ennaku thaan appo appo biscuitukku pathilla ithu menuva maarichu...

thanks for dropping by..

Lancelot said...

@ Meera

ippo enna solla varingaa...u mean to say Lancelot is also a dog so he eating dog food is not a news na?? :P :P :P

en intha kolla verri??

Lancelot said...

@ Simple

he he he he no comments :P aana naan rombaa naalla kavithai eluthuren...u can check my tamil blog...

LV said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Senorita said...

@ Lancelot...Can't believe you actually ate it ...hehehe

Lancelot said...

@ Sen

u are right...

kirthi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lancelot said...

@ kirthi

Wuf Wuf Wuf

kirthi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lancelot said...

@ kirthi

wuf wuf wuf... *wagging my tail* wuf wuf wuf...*wagging my tail*

Thoorika said...

ok guess you are not going to have probs in future if your wife refuses to feed you !! ;)

Lancelot said...

@ thoorika

Wuf Wuf...thanks for dropping by :)

Genius Kamal ! ! !

Trisha : கண்ணோடு கண்ணைக் கலந்தாளென்றால் களங்கம் உள்ளவன் எச்சரிக்கை உடனே கையுடன் கைகோர்த்தானா ? ஒழுக்கங் கெட்டவள் எச்சரிக்கை ஆடை க...