Friday, January 23, 2009

If my ears are in my legs…

What if my ears are in my legs? Phew can’t even imagine how weird I will look without ears in my head. What the place ear marked for ear in my head will look like? Just a hole or blank skin like the aliens they show in Alien movies which attack only New York City? How will I put on my glasses? Should I custom make them like the Zorro’s Mask? If it’s a costume party then I will be passable but think of going into a law firm with a mask everyday, I will be the logo for my breed universally with the caption "bandits in disguise". I am also wondering how the ear nerves will be connected to the brain, won’t God be confused? I might be his Guinea pig for his new model of humans, he might try to refit the internal nerves but its bit complicated as there will be some millions of cross connections and junctions and also a problem of mal-connection; imagine me breathing with my ears and hearing with my nose. I would suggest him to connect it externally I don’t mind few nerves hanging from my head to legs rather than those mal-functions.

But what will people say when I go in public? Will any girl date me? There might be few girls who want to be famous over night; being the girl friend of the weirdest looking men on earth. But I don’t want any publicity, as the government might put me in a cage and will use it for their scientific research face, few Hollywood movies might take the leaf out of my life to shoot their next sensational Sci-Fi Box Office Hit and Manoj Knight Shyamalan might just portray his ghost with ears in his/her legs. If the government is brainy it may put me in a cage and hang it in the center of the city and might get some tourists coming in, thus increasing the economy of the country and one fine day when their ruling is in question and there is a chance of losing their rule in the country they might just spread a rumor that I am behaving atrociously and have killed few hundred people (they will pay some people - place them on roads as dead bodies – paint them with tomato sauce - which will be telecasted by the TV channels which never show anything which is not true) and they will poison my food and kill me and then shoot my dead body here and there and will put it on channels, newspapers with headlines “PEACE RESTORED : ALIEN KILLED AFTER A GUN FIGHT” . God save me I don’t want publicity.

The things I will be happy about is I need not hear the people’s flattery words spoken on my face whereas they speak otherwise behind my back. I can cover my ears with my socks so it will not hear any bitching. And in classes and meetings I can take this ability as an excuse to keep my long legs on the table. They may make some ear related jokes about me which my ears have to hear but never mind as long as I am not one of them, I am different so I am proud.

5 comments:

G3 said...

Me the first :)

Lancelot said...

sorry G3 this is a very old post of mine (the otehr one too) deleted both by mistake instead of deleting some other draft (already Kaki was the one and only commentor to this post) but technically this post you the first...so ungalai paaratti ungalai thigaiputum vithama naan valangura arputha parisu, naalaanaikku unga office leave...

G3 said...

avvvvvvvvvvv... Singaporela veyyil konjam jaasthiya dhaan irukkunnu kelvipatten.. aana adhu indha alavukku ungala baadhikkumnu theriyaamapochae ;)

[Therinjirundha mattum enna panni iruppannu dhaanae kekkareenga.. ippadi posta muzhusa padikaama me the firstnu comment pottadhoda upscond aagi iruppen :P]

G3 said...

//naan valangura arputha parisu, naalaanaikku unga office leave...//

Nalla vela.. naalaikku leavea cancel pandrennu sollaama vitteengalae :P

Neenga oru naal dhaanae leave vitteenga.. engalukku 3 naal leave :)))

Lancelot said...

:P

paarunga en nalla manasa- naan oru naal leave vitta aandavan athuku extra rendu naal kodukraar :P

and unga innoru commentukku "sticking my tongue out at you"

Genius Kamal ! ! !

Trisha : கண்ணோடு கண்ணைக் கலந்தாளென்றால் களங்கம் உள்ளவன் எச்சரிக்கை உடனே கையுடன் கைகோர்த்தானா ? ஒழுக்கங் கெட்டவள் எச்சரிக்கை ஆடை க...