Friday, February 13, 2009

How to pick a girl for date tomorrow?

This blog is dedicated to my uyir(edukara)nanban Kartik who is now penning a blog about why he is not supporting Valentine’s day and how he is thinking about being a Muthalik follower. This blog is for all

the despo guys who doesn’t have girl friend and who wants to pick a girl tomorrow and take her out on a date. (This doesn’t mean Kartik is desperate and he asked me to write this blog to help him and his likeabouts). I am trying to give it as a dialogue between a XY and XX.



Situation- 1

(XY and XX- any place like bike stand, bus stand, before the toilet)

XY: Hi what plan’s tomorrow yaar?

XX: Tomorrow? What’s special about tomorrow? (It shows she is still single and not interested in western ideologies, so better to cut this sequence short and show your self a like minded like her)

XY: Oh nothing, they say its Valentine’s Day tomorrow so just asked you about it. Alright then if you are free shall we go to temple tomorrow? It will be free of those love birds for the first time.

XX: Yeah da sure, we will meet tomorrow at 6p.m. at Kabaleeshwar temple.

(later the same day at home to her mom, “Ma, XY is really good you know he is not going anywhere tomorrow for that stupid Valentine’s day thing he called me for temple, I am going tomorrow” Of course the mom of such a girl will be just like her and will reply, “Eshwara, such a good boy in this century eh? You should only do friendship with him”. The next day at temple after completing the worship, XY asks XX, “Hey I am having a very bad headache shall we go and have a coffee in that shop” XX, “Sure da”. There you go you have got yourself a date on Valentine’s Day and took her out for coffee as well.)

Situation- 2

(XY and XX- any place like bike stand, bus stand, before the toilet)

XY: Hi what plan’s tomorrow yaar?

XX: Tomorrow nothing yaar, Valentine’s Day is for lovers not for me. (Means she is single, lucky you- else she will say I am going out with my boy friend da…your reply should be, “Oh that’s cool- check my ears there is no smoke”)

XY: Oh! How come? Such a combo- beauty with brains- still single? That’s weird… (XX – clean bowled)

XX: He He He…Just like that…so what plans for you sir?

XY: Nothing yaar…no girl will like me yaar…me still single… only my dog loves me yaar.

XX: Hey don’t say like that… You can get girls like this yaar (snapping her fingers)… Why not ask someone out yaar, I am sure no one can resist you…

XY: Don’t pull my legs yaar…

XX: No No I swear…

XY: Oh then will you come with me tomorrow to the disc? As you are also single lets go and let our hair lose?

XX: (she can give you two replies) He He He smart move… lets go tomorrow then…

[Or] Sorry yaar I cannot come…

XY: (If the reply is the later one, start the old record again) See I told you no girl will come with me… never mind…

(The options are either she will come with you or she will think you are a real despo case, nevertheless try this with as many girls till someone say yes)


Situation- 3

(XY and XX- any place like classroom, bike stand, bus stand, before the toilet) (Pick the single cute girl and make her tell you THANKS or THANKS A TON, for instance…)

XY: Hey you missed your book in the science lab here it is…

XX: Oh Thanks…

XY: Hey can’t escape just with a simple thanks, buy me a cup of coffee tomorrow… (Now she cannot escape)

[Or]

XY: Hey you missed your book in the science lab here it is…

XX: Hey Thanks a ton…without this book how will I prepare for the exams on Monday…

XY: A Ton eh? It’s too heavy to carry back home instead you take it back and buy me a cup of coffee tomorrow… (caught)

Follow this and get a date…


HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

With love,

Lancelot

P.S: A LOT CAN HAPPEN OVER A COFFEE- but how to drag it forward depends solely on you.

P.P.S: For those who don’t understand the usage of XX and XY- XX refers to the female chromosomes and XY refers to the male chromosomes.

P.P.P.S: As many of you have not understood the story, “THE CONFUSED GHOST”, I am adding this explanation; well did you read the card it shows that the frenchie guy is a Ventriloquist, means a person who can reproduce sounds without moving his lips. He is the one who made the shrieking noise which made our Mr Ghost to be scared of his death. If you remember, you will see through the eyes of the ghost that the frenchie guy was bargaining with the owner for the price, despite of the fact that he heard about our Mr Ghost’s gimmicks, it means he doesn’t believe in ghosts and just that he wanted to buy this place at low cost, so he is now chasing the other interested party out so he will become the sole buyer and can get a low price for the same. THE END.

And CCTV is a closed circuit television.

P.P.P.P.S: Again the pic in negative is a lead for something big.

DISCLAIMER: Copyrights of the pics displayed are to the person who took it or has copyright over it – I am not claiming its mine- If the readers think so, please feel free to sue them.


86 comments:

G3 said...

first first first :))))

ஆளவந்தான் said...

me the second.. iruppa padichuttu marupadiyum varren :)

ஆளவந்தான் said...

me the second.. iruppa padichuttu marupadiyum varren :)

G3 said...

LOL :)))

What happens if not only XY but also XX reads this post?? Karthik paavam.. appuram kadaisi varai single-avae sogama sutha vendiyadhu dhaana :P

You Know Phoo said...

Singlea irupathil enakku prachana illanga!!!

G3 said...

//how to pick a girl//

ur first pic says "Mudhugula kuthi" thaan veezhthanumnu :P

Directa kalathula gudhicha onnum theraadhu.. ippadi edhaavadhu golmaal panna dhaan undungareengalo :P

Charmed One! said...

Lols ..
this will surely get you XYs a date now :) ...
So which method you will be using???
Or do you have any other secret method which you are not disclosing here :) ???

G3 said...

//(The options are either she will come with you or she will think you are a real despo case, nevertheless try this with as many girls till someone say yes)//

ROTFL :))))))))))) highest degree of desperation idhu dhaano :P

Senorita said...

@ Lacelot :) :) :)... nice read...

though I dont think women like in Situation 1 exist ?

Situation 2 ... seems feasible enough...but any woman will opt for the second otion..."Sorry da, cannot come" for she will see him for the despo that he is... unless she herself is a despo :)

Situation 3... seems happenable... in my time it might have worked...though am out of touch with college life as it is today :)

moi said...

macha...... your ideas are rocking, surely XX genes wont leave you after this, and I am sure there are some more ideas in your closet now(which you haven't revealed yet), and which you would be using tomorrow, do let us know, how you are not going to be single tomorrow ,cheers :)

G3 said...

Explanation for the previous postkku nanni.. ippo dhaan andha post purinjudhu :D

You Know Phoo said...

Guys and girls get fooled by cinematic love and this kind of posts!!!

Vinnie said...

hmmmm...i hope this helps him (KArthik) find a date n not get into some kinda 'moral policing' issue!!

then Karthik's pics here in the negative would be also his positives !!

so, what's ur plan? u got date ah?

Lancelot said...

@ G3 akka

vazhakkam polla first vanthu irukinga...ungalluku munniyandi vilasla extra eggum vallangapadum...

Akka XXum padikanum appadingrathu thaan en planae...ithukku peruthaan same side goal he he he... (en oru ponnoda vazhkayaa veen aakanum??)

and antha payan SINGAM SINGLEATHAN VARUM appadinu dialogue vidaa use aagum la :P

Lancelot said...

@ G3 akka

he he..yes..puramuthugidupavargall thaan love maatala ennaku love vennanu solravanga...lovea thayiriyamaa face panravan veeran...

desperationu neenga solringaa VIDAAMUYARCHI nu kartik solraan...

Ramani said...

hahaha... Ideas are awesome... But the only problem is its too late to try for tomorrow. I should have tried these things while I was in college. Now tell me which girl comes out for a date with me??..

(For any girls reading my comments, please note that inherent truth in my post and you can ask Arun for my contact details)

Lancelot said...

@Aalavandhan anna

innum readingaa???

Lancelot said...

@ charmed One

he he he these are technics for kids who are yet to expertise in the art of flirting..for Saggi's like me we have the secret weapon... *JUST SMILE AND WAVE* :P :P :P

Lancelot said...

@ Senorita

I know so many girls who come under the class 1... he he he and they are the easiest target :P

2) There are woman who comes- may be they are despo too...

3) It still exists infact I am told even Adam used the same technic to Eve- so it seems to be fool proof:P

Lancelot said...

@ tu (:P)

he he he...these are technics for kids who are yet to expertise in the art of flirting..for Saggi's like me we have the secret weapon... *JUST SMILE AND WAVE* :P :P :P

Lancelot said...

@ CO & TU

as both of u asked the same question had to copy and paste it :P

Lancelot said...

@ G3 akka

he he he...ennakku innum puriyala..

Lancelot said...

@ vinnie


hope he he he...dont reveal the secret that the negatives are his pics re :P

me who will date me VIN???

Lancelot said...

@ ramani anna

all the ideas are for Valentine's eve only...else chances of getting flopped...and all girls yeah get his address from me..

Ramani,
No 6 Vivekanandhar Road,
Dubai Cross Cut Road,
Dubai Main Road,
Dubai.

AzUReLy *-*MySticoe said...

A good read. Informative! All the more sure about a guy's psychology now! Haha

Lancelot said...

@ sahana

thats what you think eh?? lol..

Thoorika said...

@ Lancelot

Experience huh?! :D

@ Karthik

Enna pa kathukita?! do write a blog post on no of beatings, slaps, punch, kicks and even slippers you collected after trying all the above situations!!! :D

Ms.Pan:P said...

Mokka idea. Ponnunga yaarum idha maadri lam pannina yes solla maatanga:P:P:P Vera try pannunga sir:P:D

Ajai said...

Dei kaarthee... unnai maadiri single singangalkku vayitherical... pasanga idha follow panni figura correct5 pannuvaanganu... Nee try panna payapadhuva... adhunaala DON't believe this kinda nu oru bitu... Un kadhai mudhiyum neram idhu!!!

Ajai said...

enakkum lancelum vaaliba vaysau da... naanga ipdi thaan irupom... Nee poi saamiyaar aayidhu!!!

LV said...

@ lancelot: sounds like u tried and tested all the tricks for valentine huh.

Must say very insightful.

ஆளவந்தான் said...

//
This doesn’t mean Kartik is desperate and he asked me to write this blog to help him and his likeabouts
//

pirinjidichi :)))

ஆளவந்தான் said...

//
How come? Such a combo- beauty with brains- still single?
//

may be that - "combo- beauty with brains" could be the reason:))))

kanagu said...

Sema comedy nga...
Book situation sooooper :) :)

Kaycee said...

Readers sue pannuvaangalaam, ivaru vakkaalhathu pannuvaaram - podaa...

Seri, inda mokkai ideas unnodaye vechikkaama edukku vilhambaram panre-nu enakku terinje aaganum ippo.

Ramyah said...

Lancelot,
so which method do you use? hopefully karthik will spend valentines in a coffee shop and not in the hospital.

p/s- this century girl will never buy those ideas. :p

Karthik said...

Nalla idea va koduthu irukalam.. Still in 1940's. Ungalukulla manmadan varuvaan paartha GEMINI GANESAN varaane!!!

GAYATHRI said...

ha ha ha nice post anna...btw ethana ponnunga pasanga koopta odne varen nu solvaanga[:?] i don think there are many!!lol..

Lancelot said...

@ thoorika


he he he no comments about the experience..

Lancelot said...

@ MS PAN

intha ideas tried/tested/verified O.K.

nambikkai illati itha use panna kodikkanakana vaasagargalai kettu paarunga :P

Lancelot said...

@ Ajai

vaanga kootali...namma kootani jeyikum...kartik ta sollidungaa naama panangattu firefox, googleoda sall sallapukku ellam anjaa maattomnu...

and santhailernthu varumpothu kuchi muttayum kuruvi rottiyum kathikukku vaangitu varalam...

Lancelot said...

@ LV


he he he...try it and see how it works na??

thanks for ya comments... :)

Lancelot said...

@ allavandhan anna

he he he
for both your comments...cant agree more...

Lancelot said...

@ Kanagu

try panni parthingala??

Lancelot said...

@ Krits

he he he...case kedaikka try panren keduthu viduriyaae maa...

and makkal enkitte irunthu ippadi arivupurvamaana ideas ethirpakkuranga enna seirathu??

Lancelot said...

@ ramyah

how r u long time no see??

and he he he my technics are very very secret...these are technics for kids who are yet to expertise in the art of flirting..for Saggi's like me we have the secret weapon... *JUST SMILE AND WAVE* :P :P :P

P.S: Trust me there are girls who fall for these even now...

Lancelot said...

@ ramyah

how r u long time no see??

and he he he my technics are very very secret...these are technics for kids who are yet to expertise in the art of flirting..for Saggi's like me we have the secret weapon... *JUST SMILE AND WAVE* :P :P :P

P.S: Trust me there are girls who fall for these even now...

Lancelot said...

@gayathri

thangachi entha logathulla irukka nee...chennai la vanthu paaru u will know :P

Lancelot said...

@ Nanban Kartik

Arun: machi kochikitiyaa??

Kartik: aamada

Arun: Kochiko Kochiko

Ajai: Asingapattanda Amnjikarai kaaran... :P

Lancelot said...

@ Makkal

Yes Kartik singlea irupathil prachanai illaipa...

Lancelot said...

@ Kartik


//Guys and girls get fooled by cinematic love and this kind of posts!!!//

he he he you mean u tried it and it never workeD???

//Nalla idea va koduthu irukalam.. Still in 1940's. Ungalukulla manmadan varuvaan paartha GEMINI GANESAN varaane!!!//

Machi nee simbhu padam pathi pesunathalla solren, VALLAVANukku pullum aayutham :P

and trust me puthu technics ellam kaana poidum these technics are evergreen and sure win...try pannitu vaangu :P

Vinnie said...

hmmmmm...so how was ur day yesterday, Lance, our date expert??

LV said...

@ Lancelot: All your tricks are from the guys perspective. I think i will have to contend with batting my eyelids or better still i will drop my kerchief and act shy. Any suggestions for us

Lancelot said...

@ vinnie

my day nothing special was a drunken monk yesterday :P

Lancelot said...

@ LV

I'm specialised in giving tips to guys (like Dr hitch) Girls I am not sure but will think the ways for which I fell and write it as a seperate blog...but to get a date is simple for girls than guys...

LV said...

@ Lancelot: Will wait for your insightful post :-)

Lancelot said...

@ LV

he he he...then will post it asap

viji said...

my first question: ninga etanai per kitte ipadi panni irukenga??

2nd: ninga try panni patingala intha steps eeh on 14 feb??

3rd: tell me the results.

4th; antha poto le irukkera paiyan yen ivalo aseeeongama irukkan. :D nalla vele negative mathum pothinga.. positive um pothu irutingana.. unga blog visitor's odi poi irupanga. :D

viji said...

ippo next post

Lancelot said...

@ viji

1)ithu ellam sontha thayarippu

2) feb 14th annaiku mattum try panrathu chinna pullathanam..

3) Results already out 1000 out of 1000

4) en frienda pathi thappa pesaathinga...he is MASS

LV said...

@ Lancelot: I think the Krishna pose goes too well with the post.

Lancelot said...

@ LV

ha ha ha ha...i have so many nicknames at college in those lines, thats why this pose during one of my trips to mahabalipuram :P

LV said...

@ lancelot: So u were the unique Krishna who drove the Gopiyas away

Lancelot said...

@ LV

yeah i am the unique krishna who drove away the ugly gopikaas and pick only gopikaas who look like Penelope cruz, Slama Hayek :P

gils said...

avvvvvvvvvvvvvvv....enga ponalum ithey topica..mudialada saaami

gils said...

kartik singlea sutharano ilayo..lancelotuku guinevere seekrama set agidum pola :D

kanaguonline said...

udambula adi vaanga thembu illanga.. so try pannala :)

Lancelot said...

@ gils

thalai naan kadhalar thinam pahi eluthulaa kadhalar thinathulaa ponna eppadi ushaar panrathu appdingratha thaan eluthi iruken...

Lancelot said...

@ Kartik


he he he king arthur pakkathula illama iruntha seri :PP

Lancelot said...

@Kanagu

thalai enni thuniga karumam illatii karumam karumam endru solluvanga oorukul...

townguy said...

you provide lots of techniques ,

did you use at least one of it already , or making us as a ginipic ? haha

Lancelot said...

@ townguy (nagarathuppayan)

he he he he these are the technics I used when I was in LKG...if you want advanced technics enroll yourself in courses...

LV said...

@ Lancelot: maybe the penelope cruz's were just amused by the stand. I think u will need to check again with them

kanagu said...

oor sollunga.. aana atha kaetka kaadhu thalai la irukanume :)

Chriz said...

hahaha..

enna maadhiri oru ottrumai...


loved it brother.. in your language thaarumaaru

Lancelot said...

@ LV

after your advise I rechecked with them the answer is positive, they still love me yaar??? what shall I do to chase them???

Lancelot said...

@ Kanagu


thalai enna thalai neenga ravannan mathiri oru thalai ponna pathu thalai oru kadhu ponnuchunaa 19 kathu...ippadi abeet aagalama...chumma poondhu vilayadungaa...

Lancelot said...

@ chirz

anna semma wave length :P :P :P

and Vasheeshtar vaayal brahma rishi pattam :)

swathi paul(dew drop) said...

situation 4:
(after many valentines days and many cups of coffee together)
xy:(screaming)where is my coffee????
xx:(irriated)its on the table
xy:hot water tastes better at least its not this bad
xx:ok then i dont mind making hot water ofr you.atleat i could save on milk ,coffee powder and gas.
xy:loving boyfriend who later got promoted to the post of insensitive husband
xx:cute girl at college who now screams and is 20 kilos overweight

Lancelot said...

@ Swati

ha ha ha ha thats what they say NO LOVE LOST in english :P :P :P

seri tell me who is that XY antha 20 kg added girl neethanae?

Lancelot said...

@ Makkal

by the by

naan sonna technic follow panni G3 akka McD la irunthu oru aala pickup pannitaanga... Kartik is the saatchi for this...

viji said...

###2) feb 14th annaiku mattum try panrathu chinna pullathanam.. ###

:D ha ha ha. . . . . .

Jollu!!

Lancelot said...

@ Viji

enna jollu naanga ellam romba dejentu...ok

ஆளவந்தான் said...

//
Lancelot said...
@ Viji

enna jollu naanga ellam romba dejentu...ok
//

innaathu detergent'a :))))

Lancelot said...

Rin Detergent Soap...

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