24th April 2009 - 10:00 A.M.
I was sitting in my office as usual waiting for my clients to pay m
e the fees when my secretary called me and said,
“Boss we have a new client and he insists that he has to meet you perso
nally”
“Are you sure he wants to meet me?”
“Yes he insists”
“Did you show him the sign board?”
“Will I miss it? I need some forgiveness for the sins I commit with you” (Read this in a non sexual sense)
“Alright send him in”
(Knock at the door)
“Yes come in”
Enters in our Karthik, phew, I thought its someone innocent who has become a victim of me, now that its Karthik I know its going to be easy. “Yes da machan, what do you want”
“Machi I am in love with a girl da”
“Is she in love with you?”
“That’s what I want to know, Can you help me?”
“Anything for you da, shoot”
“Can you write a love letter to that girl?”
“I wont mind doing that da, but are you sure you want me to write it???”
“Yes Please”
“Alright leave me the address I will draft one and send it to her”
“Ok here is the address,
Ms Emma Watson,
“I am dead sure da”
“Alright you go then – will send the letter and send you the
acknowledgement”
“Ok Bye”
“Bye”
He left.
27th April 2009 - 10.00 A.M.
The letter is drafted and is lying on my table which reads:
“ RE: NOTICE OF LOVE
Dear Emma Watson,
We act Messrs Karthik & Co.,
Our client’s instructed to serve this Notice of Love upon you.
We are happy to inform you that our client fell in love with you on Friday the 13th day of March, 2009. This is in reference to the movie he saw which featured you on the 10th day of March, 2009 at 15.12.
Our client also wishes to state that the probationary period of love will start immediately from 00.00 hours tonight for a period of three months. Depending on the performance of you in,
a) bed,
b) party,
c) restaurant,
d) house,
e) toilet
and notwithstanding his atrocities after he gets high over a cup of coke, could become permanent.
Our client wants to impose the following terms and conditions to this relationship;
1) The costs incurred during the process of this relationship, initially, should be shared between you and him in equal shares. Later, based on the growth of this relationship, our client will take a larger share of the costs.
2) After entering into the permanent period of relationship, you should not expect our client to change his habits of digging nose, farting loudly during lunch/dinner, scratching himself competing with your dog, speaking good English.
3) In the event of break up, you are supposed to return all the gifts, cards, letters given by our client to you and should not expect our client to do the same.
4) If the relationship goes to a stage where you enter into wedlock with our client all the expenses for the wedding shall be born by you.
5) The proposal stands void ab initio when you ask our client to marry you at the soonest and/or threatening to commit suicide and/or probing about the sexual interests of our client and/or hiding the previous marriage of yours from our client.
Please revert with an answer within 14 days of receipt of this notice. Otherwise, this proposal will become null and void without further notice, and our client will consider other candidates.
Also present proposal is losing its force in the event of unforeseen circumstances, force majeure, which could impede the implementation of this proposal.(These, in particular, but not limited to, include: military operations, natural disasters, legislative acts, acts of internal affairs, national security and military forces, deliberate hostile actions of your previous partners.)
With Best Regards,
Arunkumar Gunasekaran
Writer’s email id : arunkumar_guna@yahoo.com
Writer’s DID: 97710345”
6th May 2009 - 10.00 A.M.
Karthik enters in.
“Machi is that ready?”
“Yes have a look” (he reads. Read the next line after 3minutes and 23 seconds)
“Thanks da, its awesome, can you send it on my behalf?”
(With a glee in my voice) “Me??? Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“Sexy da, Will do”
“Ok da I have to go and click the ads in my blog page – got my ad sense approved”
(Still with the glee in the voice) “Ok da bye” (he leaves)
You know what I did? I sent the notice with this stamp at the back side of the envelope.
The rest is history. Cheers.
~~~MORAL OF THE STORY~~~
Never use a lawyer to convey your love
