one of a kind ! ! !

Genius Kamal ! ! !

2010-11-23T18:11:00.000+08:00

Trisha :

கண்ணோடு கண்ணைக் கலந்தாளென்றால்

களங்கம் உள்ளவன் எச்சரிக்கை

உடனே கையுடன் கைகோர்த்தானா ?

ஒழுக்கங் கெட்டவள் எச்சரிக்கை

ஆடை களைகையில் கூடுதல் பேசினால்

அனுபவம் மிக்கவள் எச்சரிக்கை

கலவி முடிந்தபின் கிடந்து பேசினால்

காதலாய் மாறலாம் எச்சரிக்கை

கவிதை இலக்கியம் பேசினளாயின்

காசை மதியாள் எச்சரிக்கை

உன்னுடன் இருப்பது சுகமென்றாளா

உறுதியாய் சிக்கல் எச்சரிக்கை

அறுவடை கொள்முதல் என்றே காமம்

அமைவது பொதுவே நலமாகக்கொள்

கூட்டல் ஒன்றே குறியென்றானபின்

கழிப்பது காமம் மட்டும் எனக்கொள்

உன்னை மங்கையர் என்னெனக்கொள்வர்

யோசிக்காமல் வருவதை எதிர்கொள்

முன்னும் பின்னும் ஆட்டும் சகடை

ஆணும் பெண்ணும் அதுவேயெனக்கொள்

காமமெனப்படும் பண்டைச் செயலில்

காதல் கலவாது காத்துக்கொள்

இப்பெண்ணுரைக்கெதிராய் ஆணுறை ஒன்றை

இயற்றத் துணியும் அணி சேர்த்துக்கொள்

Kamal :

கலவி செய்கையில் காதல் பேசி

கனிவாய் மெலிதாய்க் கழுத்தைக் கவ்வும்

வெள்ளை பளிச்சிடும் பற்கள் வேண்டும்

குழந்தை வாயை முகர்ந்தது போலக்

கடும் நாற்ற மில்லாத வாயும் வேண்டும்

காமக் கழிவுகள் கழுவும் வேளையும்

கூட நின்றவன் உதவிட வேண்டும்

சமயலின் போதும் உதவிட வேண்டும்

சாய்ந்து நெகிழ்ந்திடத் திண்தோள் வேண்டும்

மோதிக் கோபம் தீர்க்க வசதியாய்

பாறைப் பதத்தில் நெஞ்சும் வேண்டும்

அதற்குப் பின்னால் துடிப்புள்ள இதயமும்

அது ரத்தம் பாய்ச்சி நெகுழ்திய சிந்தையும்

மூளை மடிப்புகள் அதிகம் உள்ள

மேதாவிலாச மண்டையும் வேண்டும்

வங்கியில் இருப்பு வீட்டில் கருப்பென

வழங்கிடப் புழங்கிட பணமும் வேண்டும்

எனக்கென சுதந்திரம் கேட்கும் வேளையில்

பகுத்தறிகின்ற புத்தியும் வேண்டும்

இப்படிக் கணவன் வரவேண்டும் என

ஒன்பது நாட்கள் நோம்பு இருந்தேன்

வரந்தருவாள் என் வரலட்சுமியென

கடும் நோம்பு முடிந்ததும் தேடிப் போனேன்

பொடிநடை போட்டே இடை மெலிய வெனக்

கடற்கரை தோறும் காலையும் மாலையும்

தொந்தி கணபதிகள் திரிவது கண்டேன்

முற்றும் துறந்து மங்கையரோடு

அம்மணத் துறவிகள் கூடிடக் கண்டேன்

மூத்த அக்காள் கணவனுக்கு

முக்கால் தகுதிகள் இருந்தும் கூட

அக்காளில்லா வேளையிலே அவன்

சக்காளத்தி வேண்டும் என்றான்

எக்குலமானால் என்ன என்று

வேற்று மதம் வரை தேடிப் போனேன்

வர வரப் புருஷ லட்சணம் உள்ளவர்

திருமணச் சந்தியில் மிகமிகக் குறைவு

வரம்தரக் கேட்ட வரலட்சுமியுனக்கு

வீட்டுக்காரர் அமைந்தது எப்படி ?

நீ கேட்ட வரங்கள் எதுவரை பலித்தது ?

உறங்கிக் கொண்டே இருக்கும் உந்தன்

அரங்கநாதன் ஆள் எப்படி ?

பிரபந்தம் சொல்லும் அத்தனை சேட்டையும்

வாஸ்தவமாக நடப்பது உண்டோ?

அதுவும் இதுவும் எதுவும் செய்யும்

இனிய கணவர் யார்க்குமுண்டோ ?

உனக்கேனுமது அமையப்பெற்றால்

உண்மையிலேயே அதிர்ஷ்டசாலிதான்

நீ அதுபோல் எனக்கும் அமையச் செய்யேன்

ஸ்ரீ வரலட்சுமி நமஸ்துதே

- Written by Kamalahasan

A true fake story...

2010-09-23T19:23:00.003+08:00

Long long ago, so long ago, nobody knew how long ago, in 1985 on February the 31^st born a male child in the city of Madras (new name “Chennai” old name “Madarasapattinam”) under Swathi natchathiram (star), Thulam raasi (Libra moon sign) and Danur laknam (Sagittarian descendant). His mom took his horoscope to Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal, a doctorate holder in astrology, he said within the age of 2 he will make his father rich as he is blessed by Lordess Lakshmi and having Sukira Thisai and that the boy should be named with the word starting with letter “V”. So they named him Venkatachala Laksmipathy Balaji. When he was 1 year, 3 months and 23 days old his father becomes a millionaire. So his parents again went to Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal and thanked him by paying him a lot of money and showed him the horoscope of the boy. He went through the chart and said he has a severe kandam (danger) at the age of 5 and that he will survive that as he is blessed by Lordess Parvathi and has Guru Thisai. When he was five he escaped miraculously from a big train accident, he was the only survivor of the train crash (don’t ask me how he was travelling alone at the age of 5 in a train as his parents did not travel with him, we need some build up for Heroes in India), so the whole country said he is a lucky child and is blessed very well by god. So again his parents went to Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal and again thanked him by paying him a lot of money and showed him the horoscope of the boy. He went through the chart and said he is blessed by Lordess Saraswathi and he has Puthan Thisai as such he will succeed in his studies with top ranks and will do undergraduate in a top university in India but his stars will never let him stay in India and he will go and do his postgraduation in the West and will never return to India after the age of 24.

Our hero finished his schooling securing a state rank, got into the no.1 university in India for Computer Science Engineering and then got into MIT, USA. He came with a gold medal and his whole family (there were 238 members till the last minute I was writing this story but considering it is an Indian family it would have become 241 by now) were talking about him settling down in USA forever as its in the west of India and they were praising Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal for his perfect predictions so far and they believed that God himself was speaking through Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal. Our hero’s parents were as usual taking the money out of their bank accounts to pay our great Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal when they receive a call in their skype phone and it was none other than our hero;

Hero: Dad, how are you?

Dad: I am good my son, so proud of you ! ! !

Hero: Dad I am coming home.

Dad: Oh, thats great for how many days?

Hero: For good

Dad: What??? it can’t be? You have to stay there it’s the wish of God, it’s written in your horoscope, you can’t change it.

Hero: I can’t change it dad.

Dad: God didn’t change it either son.

Hero: I know dad but one man did.

Dad: Who is that?

Hero: Mr Obama.

Dad: What ma?

Hero: Obama dad, the US President.

Dad: But our great Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal said you will never come to India as its god’s wish.

Hero: Dad, just ask him again whether my chart has changed in all these years. Anyways I am coming on next Wednesday for good. Please get me an Indian mobile number. Say hi to Mom. Bye for now.

So our hero’s parents ran to Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal and told him what had happened. Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal took his 2500 year old chart on astrology and started calculating the future of our Hero and after 45 minutes 38 seconds he came to a conclusion that there is no way our hero will return to India and that his fate is fixed is fixed in such a way that by now he should have got a job in USA and he will stay there forever. When hero’s parents told him it didn’t happen, our Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal threw all the money, fruits and clothes they offered to him and said, if this thing doesn’t happen within the next one month he will quit checking horoscopes and will sit in a temple and do kizhi joshiyam (parrot reading – mind you it’s not tarot reading, its parrot reading).

Our hero came back to home from US of the A. He sat at home without searching for a job in India and was waiting for his job offer and visa letter from US of the A. Days passed by and it was just 2 more days for the one month period given by Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal. On the last but one day, there was a courier delivered to our hero’s house from US of the A, hero’s parents were jumping up and down claiming that their astrologer has been right once again. The whole family (which has become 1056 members as of this minute) was before the prayer room where the cover which they received via courier was placed before the deities and they prayed for 23minutes 25seconds. Slowly our hero opened the cover and found it to be from his American friend Ms Michelle Ralph Thomas with a few paper cuttings, one was of Mr President Obama’s speech in the parliament where he has warned the American companies from recruiting foreigners especially Indians by imposing high tax rates on them and the other one was about the companies deciding to recruit only Americans to get tax benefits and the final one was about the new rule stating that Indian undergraduate degrees will not be recognised in US of the A.

2 years and 9months and 19 days later, our Hero is working in a small software company in Mogappair, Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India (Lat 206.12 degree and Long 128.89 degree), our hero’s family is in search of a replacement for our Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal as our Jodhidarathna (King of Astrology) Mr Sri Sri Sri Venkatramana Krishna Govindaachari Swamigal is now sitting in Kabaleeshwar temple doing parrot reading.

MORAL OF THE STORY: God proposes and Obama disposes (Now you know why Obama is called the Messiah)

DISCLAIMER: This is a pure fiction and not to hurt the sentiments of anyone especially President Obama.

அணையா நெருப்பு - கமல்ஹாசன்

2010-05-03T15:53:00.003+08:00

வேறு ஒரு கதை விவாதத்தில் பிறந்த கிளைக் கதை இது. இது கிளைகூட இல்லை; வேறு, வேறு விதை.

‘‘விவசாயிகளின் தளம் போல வானம் பார்த்த பூமி இல்லை நமது விளைநிலம்’’ என்றார் கதை விவாதிக்க வந்த ஒரு நண்பர்.

‘‘ஆம்! இது பூமி பார்த்த பூமி’’ என்றேன்.

‘‘சில சமயம் வானமும் பார்க்குமே?” என்று சிரித்தார். ‘‘பார்க்கும், எங்கேயும் பார்க்கும். பார்வைதானே கதையே! என் கோணம், என் கதை.’’

‘‘சரி, கதைக்கு ஒரு துப்பு கொடுங்க, துலக்கறேன்’’ என்றேன்.

‘‘துப்பு என்ன... தலைப்பே தர்றேன்.’’

‘‘ம்...?’’

நான் சற்றும் எதிர்பாராத தலைப்பு தந்தார்.

‘‘நான் கற்பிழந்த நாள்.’’

‘‘ஓ! கதையின் நீளம்?’’

‘‘சிறுசு’’ என்றார்.

‘‘கதாநாயகனா? நாயகியா?’’

‘‘நாயகிதான் யதார்த்தமாய் இருக்குமோ?’’

‘‘உண்மைதான். காலம்?’’

‘‘பகலா, இரவான்னு கேக்கறீங்களா?’’

‘‘இல்லை. நேற்றா, இன்றா, நாளையான்னு கேக்கறேன்?’’

‘‘முந்தானேத்து’’ என்றார் வீம்புக்காக.

சிரித்துவிட்டு, ‘‘How about முன்பு ஒரு காலத்துல?’’

‘‘Why not?’’ என்றார் விட்டுக் கொடுப்புடன்.

‘‘உங்க தலைப்புக்கு ஏத்த மாதிரி ஒரு கதைச் சுருக்கம்... ‘சீதையின் வாழ்வில் ஒரு நாள்’ & எப்படி?’’

‘‘அம்மாடியோவ்!’’

‘‘ஏன்?’’

‘‘Why not?’’

‘‘கலவரம் வர ஒரு கதை காரணமா இருக்கணுமா?’’

‘‘கலவரம் வர நம்மூர்ல காரணம் வேணுமா என்ன?’’ என்றேன்.

‘‘Agreed. சீதை என்ன சொல்றா? ஏன் அப்படிச் சொல்றா? அவ அப்படிச் சொன்னதுக்கு என்ன ஆதாரம்?’’

‘‘ஓ! கதையின் கால், ரிஷியின் மூலம் எங்கேன்னு கேக்கறீங்க? சொல்றேன்.ஆதாரம் கேட்டீங்கன்னா, கையில ஒண்ணுமில்ல. ஆனா, இது அக்னி சாட்சியா உண்மை.’’

‘‘அப்பிடின்னா?’’

‘‘இது எனக்கு அக்னிதேவன் சொன்ன கதை.’’

‘‘ஓ! சீதை சொல்லவில்லையா?’’ என்றார் சுவாரஸ்யம் இழந்தவராக.

‘‘இல்ல... சீதை எனக்குப் பழக்கமில்லை. ஆனால், அக்னி வேறு விஷயம்.’’

‘‘ஓஹோ! அக்னிதேவன் உங்க நண்பரா?’’

‘‘ஆமாம்! ஆனா, ரொம்ப நெருக்கமில்ல. தூரத்து உறவு. அந்தரங்க ரகசியங்களைப் பகிர்ந்துக்கற அளவுக்கு நட்பு. ஒரு தலைக் காதலர்கள் சங்கத்துல என்னைப் போல் அவரும் சில காலம் உறுப்பினரா இருந்தாரு.’’

‘‘Wow! hot gossip?’’

‘‘‘‘No, a warm tale’’ என்றேன்.

துவங்கினேன்... ‘‘அக்னி தேவன் சொன்னபடி அதிக புனைவில்லாமல் சொல்றேன்.’’

‘‘ராமன், சீதையின் கற்பைச் சோதிக்க முடிவு செய்த நாள். ராவணன் போரில் செத்துப்போனான். என் போன்ற ஒருதலைக் காதல் ராவணனுக்கும் இருந்தது சீதையின் மேல்’’ என்று கதை சொல்லத் தொடங்கினான் அக்னிதேவன்.

‘‘இரவெல்லாம் அசோக வனத்தில் குளிருக்காக ராவண சேவகிகள் என்னை எண்ணெயூட்டி, மட்டை விறகூட்டி வளர்ப்பர். என் கதகதப்பில் காவலாளிகள் உறங்கினாலும் சீதை உறங்க மாட்டாள். நானும்தான்.

சில சமயம் அனைவரும் உறங்கிய பின் என்னையே வெறித்துப் பார்ப்பாள் சீதை. நான் படபடத்துப் போவேன். சங்கோஜத்தில் நெளிவேன், உறக்கம் இன்றி.

விடிந்ததும் காமுற்ற என் மனதை நனைத்து அவிக்கும் பகலும், காற்றும்!

ஒரு முறை ராவணன் மேல் பொறாமையில், ராவணனின் அரண்மனைக்குத் தூது வந்த ராமதூதன் வாலைப் பிடித்துக்கொண்டு இலங்கையையும் ராவணனையும் அழிக்கக் கூடத் துணிந்தேன். கைகூடவில்லை. வீணாக நிறைய அரக்கு உருகியதுதான் மிச்சம்...’’

‘‘சரி! கதையின் தலைப்புக்குக் காரணமான காரியமென்ன? இது சிறுகதை, ஞாபகமிருக் கட்டும்’’ என்று ஞாபகப் படுத்தினார் நண்பர்.

தடங்கலின் எரிச் சலைக் காட்டாமல் அக்னிதேவன் தொடர்ந்து பேசலானான்...

‘‘காரண காரியம் காதல் தான். சீதையின் கற்புக்கு நானே சாட்சி! ராவணன் அவளைச் சந்தித்த இரவுகளில், நானும் கூடவே இருந்தேன். அந்தத் தூதுவன் கணையாழி கொண்டு வந்து நீட்டியபோது அடி வயிறு பற்றிக் கொழுந்துவிட்டு எரிந்தேன். என்ன பிரயோஜனம்? சீதை கணையாழியை இன்னும் தெளிவாகப் பார்த்தாள்... என் வெளிச்சத்தில்.

சீதை ராவணனோடு மட்டுமல்ல, என்னுடனும் பேச மறுத்தாள். அவள் நல்லவள். ஒரு வார்த்தைகூட என்னுடன் பேசாதவள்.

அன்று ராமன் அவளை ஊரறியச் சோதிக்க முற்பட்டபோதுதான் என்னுடன் முதன்முதலாகப் பேசினாள்.

‘‘ராமனன்றி யாருடனும் சேராதவள், நினையாதவள் இன்று மனமொடிந்தேன்! நிதம் பார்த்து ஏங்கினாயே! காத்துவைத்த இந்தக் கற்பு உனதாகட்டும். எனை ஆட்கொள்’’ என்றாள்.

காதல் ஓர் விநோத நோய். தேரைக்கும் பாறைக்கும் ஏற்பட்ட காதல் போல யாரும் அறியாது நிகழ்ந்த இந்தக் காதல் சங்கமத்தில், என் காமச் சூட்டைவிட காதல் வண்ணம் மேலோங் கியது.

என் முதல் காதல் நாசமாய்ப் போனதே... அதுபோல் இதுவும் ஆகும் என்று தோன்றியது.

அவளை எனதாக்கிக் கொள்ளும் அவசரத்தில், அவளையே கரிக்கிச் சாம்பலாக்கிவிடுவேன் நான். தெரியும் எனக்கு. தோற்ற என் முதல் காதல் தந்த அனுபவம் இது.

‘முதல் காதல் யாருடன்?’ என்று நண்பர் கேள்வியைக் கேட்கும் முன், சுடச்சுட வந்தது பதில்.

‘‘முதல் காதல் காட்டுடன், வனமோகினியுடன். நான் அப்போது மலைமகன். விடலை. என் காதலைச் சொன்னவுடன் வெகுண்டு வெடித்தார் தந்தையார். என்னை வீட்டைவிட்டு வெளியேற்றினார். குழம்பிப் போனேன்.

காதலியைத் தேடிப் போனேன். பல நாள் கனவிலே செய்ததை அன்று நினைவில் செய்தபோது, காதலி கரிந்துபோனாள். என் காதலும்தான்! என் காதல் தோற்ற கோபத்தில் காதல், காமம் என்ற வார்த்தை களைக் கேட்டாலே எரிந்து விழுந்தேன். சிவனின் மகன் மாறன் கரிந்ததும் என்னால் தான். அந்நிலை இன்று இவளுக்கும் ஆகும். தெரியும் எனக்கு. இவளுடன் ஒன்று சேருவதை விட இவளைக் காப்பதே என் கடமை என்றது காதல்.

என் கைக்குள்ளே வந்த சீதையிடமோ குரோதமும் ஆதங்கமுமே தெரிந்தது. மோதியழ ஒரு தோள் நான். அவ்வளவே!

அவள் என் மேல் அன்று பொழிந்தது காதல் மழையல்ல, கருணை மழை! உதட்டளவில் தானமாகக் கொடுத்தாள் காதலை.

‘‘உன்னுடன் வருகிறேன் என்றவளை ஏன் வேண்டாம் என ஒதுக்குகிறாய். ஏற்க என்னை!’’ என்றாள்.

‘‘சீதா! காதல் ஒன்று சேருவதில் மட்டுமே வருமெனில், ராமனின் காதல் இந்நேரம் வெகுவாகக் கூடி இருக்க வேண்டுமே! கூடியபின் குறையும் குணம் உள்ளது காதல்.

என்னருமை சீதா! காமத்தில் நான் குளித்து நனைந்தால், யாருக்கும் இன்றி அவிந்தேபோவேன். நீ அயோனிஜா, மீண்டும் உன் தாய் வீட்டுக்கே போவாய். மற்றவர்போல், கடைசியிலேனும் என் கைவசப்படுவாய் என்ற நம்பிக்கையும் இல்லை எனக்கு.

என்னைப் போல் நீயும் நியதிகளுக்கு அப்பாற்பட்டவள். உன் கற்பும் கலையாமல், நம் காதலும் கரையாமல் இருக்க, நாம் கூடவே கூடாது.

என்னைக் கடந்து செல், உன் சுயநல ராமனிடம்! இந்தக் கூடாத கூடலில், நியதிகளுக்குள் அடங்காத நானே கருத்தரிப்பேன்! நம் காதலின் நினைவாக உன் வடிவில் ஒரு குமாரத்தி யைப் பிரசவிப்பேன்! அவளுக்கு திரௌபதை என்று பெயரிடுவேன். சம்மதமா?’’ என்றேன்.

சீதை என் காதல் கேட்டுக் கண்கலங்கினாள். ‘இத்தகைய காதலை நான் அனுபவித்ததே இல்லை. இத்தகைய ஆணையும் நான் சந்தித்தது இல்லை. இனியும் அது நிகழாது.

உன் இந்த அன்புச் சூட்டில் உன் கை தவழ்ந்து வெளியேறிய பின், உன் நினைவாகவே இருப்பேன். என் கற்பு, ராமன் போன்றவர் வாழும் பிரதேசத்தில் அழுகித்தான் போகும். என் கற்பு உன்னிடமே இருக்கட்டும். அதை, பிறக்கப்போகும் நம் மகள் திரௌபதைக்கு திருமணச் சீராக விட்டுச் செல்கிறேன்’’ எனக் கூறி விடைபெற்றாள்.

அவள் கண்ணீரும் காதலும் என்னை நனைக்க, என் கைகள் தளர்ந்து போயின.

அன்று கைவிட்டுப் போனவள்தான், பிறகு பார்க்கவில்லை. என் மகள் திரௌபதையின் வாழ்வில் இத்தகைய சந்தேகக் கணவர் யாரும் வாய்க்காமல் காப்பேன். கற்பு என்ற சிறையில் சீதைபோல் அவள் சாகாமல் காப்பேன். என் மேல் ஆணை!’’

தன் தலையையே சத்தியத்தின் சாட்சியாக்கினான் அக்னி என்று முடித்து, என் குரலை மாற்றிக்கொண்டு நானானேன்.

விவாதம் தொடர்ந்தது.

NOTE: THIS IS A COPYRIGHTED WORK OF MR KAMAL HASAAN AND I OWN NO COPYRIGHTS OVER THIS MATERIAL. IT ALSO BELONGS TO VIKATAN PUBLICATIONS. I AM JUST POSTING IT FOR THE PLEASURE OF FELLOW READERS. THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE SAME CAN BE FOUND IN MR R S PRASANNA'S BLOG.

ENJOY READING

தமிழ் படம்

2009-12-31T18:37:00.002+08:00

Be a Rebel... Rebel... Rebel...

2009-05-11T11:34:00.004+08:00

REBELZ - Check out the poster above - I guess that will tell you what this blog is about. Yes the rebellious mates of mine are back with a bang oops sorry two bangs. Those who are at Chennai, kindly check this out and those who are not at Chennai, please book your tickets to Chennai and check out the Rebelz. I can guarantee you that your money will not go wasted. Moreover a friend of mine is acting in one of the plays, I am not going to name who she is, as I don’t want to be whacked if she doesn’t act properly. Just kidding, I don’t want to put her under pressure, so her name will be revealed after the play. Those who can guess who my friend is after you see that play, then you will be rewarded with a pint of beer when I come down to Chennai. So BE A REBEL REBEL REBEL . . .

How Emma Watson fell in love with me?

2009-05-05T20:15:00.010+08:00

24^th April 2009 - 10:00 A.M.

I was sitting in my office as usual waiting for my clients to pay m

e the fees when my secretary called me and said,

“Boss we have a new client and he insists that he has to meet you perso

nally”

“Are you sure he wants to meet me?”

“Yes he insists”

“Did you show him the sign board?”

“Will I miss it? I need some forgiveness for the sins I commit with you” (Read this in a non sexual sense)

“Alright send him in”

(Knock at the door)

“Yes come in”

Enters in our Karthik, phew, I thought its someone innocent who has become a victim of me, now that its Karthik I know its going to be easy. “Yes da machan, what do you want”

“Machi I am in love with a girl da”

“Is she in love with you?”

“That’s what I want to know, Can you help me?”

“Anything for you da, shoot”

“Can you write a love letter to that girl?”

“I wont mind doing that da, but are you sure you want me to write it???”

“Yes Please”

“Alright leave me the address I will draft one and send it to her”

“Ok here is the address,

Ms Emma Watson,

No. 6 Vivekanandhar Road,

London Main Road,

London Cross Cut Road,

London – 0 00 000

United States of Kingdom.”

“Are you sure this is the address? It looks like an FM ad”

“I am dead sure da”

“Alright you go then – will send the letter and send you the

acknowledgement”

“Ok Bye”

“Bye”

He left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

27^th April 2009 - 10.00 A.M.

The letter is drafted and is lying on my table which reads:

“ RE: NOTICE OF LOVE

Dear Emma Watson,

We act Messrs Karthik & Co.,

Our client’s instructed to serve this Notice of Love upon you.

We are happy to inform you that our client fell in love with you on Friday the 13^th day of March, 2009. This is in reference to the movie he saw which featured you on the 10^th day of March, 2009 at 15.12.

Our client also wishes to state that the probationary period of love will start immediately from 00.00 hours tonight for a period of three months. Depending on the performance of you in,

a) bed,

b) party,

c) restaurant,

d) house,

e) toilet

and notwithstanding his atrocities after he gets high over a cup of coke, could become permanent.

Our client wants to impose the following terms and conditions to this relationship;

1) The costs incurred during the process of this relationship, initially, should be shared between you and him in equal shares. Later, based on the growth of this relationship, our client will take a larger share of the costs.

2) After entering into the permanent period of relationship, you should not expect our client to change his habits of digging nose, farting loudly during lunch/dinner, scratching himself competing with your dog, speaking good English.

3) In the event of break up, you are supposed to return all the gifts, cards, letters given by our client to you and should not expect our client to do the same.

4) If the relationship goes to a stage where you enter into wedlock with our client all the expenses for the wedding shall be born by you.

5) The proposal stands void ab initio when you ask our client to marry you at the soonest and/or threatening to commit suicide and/or probing about the sexual interests of our client and/or hiding the previous marriage of yours from our client.

Please revert with an answer within 14 days of receipt of this notice. Otherwise, this proposal will become null and void without further notice, and our client will consider other candidates.

Also present proposal is losing its force in the event of unforeseen circumstances, force majeure, which could impede the implementation of this proposal.(These, in particular, but not limited to, include: military operations, natural disasters, legislative acts, acts of internal affairs, national security and military forces, deliberate hostile actions of your previous partners.)

With Best Regards,

Arunkumar Gunasekaran

Writer’s email id : arunkumar_guna@yahoo.com

Writer’s DID: 97710345”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6^th May 2009 - 10.00 A.M.

Karthik enters in.

“Machi is that ready?”

“Yes have a look” (he reads. Read the next line after 3minutes and 23 seconds)

“Thanks da, its awesome, can you send it on my behalf?”

(With a glee in my voice) “Me??? Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Sexy da, Will do”

“Ok da I have to go and click the ads in my blog page – got my ad sense approved”

(Still with the glee in the voice) “Ok da bye” (he leaves)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know what I did? I sent the notice with this stamp at the back side of the envelope.

The rest is history. Cheers.

~~~MORAL OF THE STORY~~~

Never use a lawyer to convey your love

Arjuna’s Presence of mind…

2009-04-11T23:28:00.004+08:00

This is a new series in my blog – about my theatre days. Actually these days starts right from my 3rd standard when I started acting in the school plays like the Three Kings who brings gift to Jesus Christ, Panchali Sabhatham (Draupadi Vastra Haran), Little Peta Rabbit and so on. I am going to tag this under the head AVALON DAYS named after my theatre group Avalon Theatre Productions. There are several funny incidences on and off the stage during the plays, short film shoots and cast parties. Everything will be penned down here. Hope this will put a smile on your face, to start with let me tell you about Draupadi Vastra Haran drama.

This is the play we did during my 6th Standard at School. Most of you know the story where the Pandavas play the game of dice with the Gauravas and they will lose everything they had and finally pledge Draupadi/Panchali and lose her as well, then she will brought to the courtyard and will be stripped by the evil Dukshadana. What happened was, as it’s a boys school (yeah unfortunately I was put in a boys school from 6th to 12th) the Draupadi role was played by a girl like boy who was very thin, the Dukshadhan character was played by a very rough and tough boy. I played the role of Arjuna, I am always given an ordinary role, one in the corner with just one or two lines of dialogues. During the rehearsals we didn’t had the saree tied on Draupadi so it was just an air action then. On the day of the play, the primary school teacher brought two sarees in the same color and pinned it and tied it on the guy who played Draupadi and mind you he had his uniform shorts inside it. She also strictly warned the guy who played Dukshadhan not to pull the saree with force and told him to over act and does it slowly till the music stops (the background music was from some old movie). So everything was set we were on stage. Let me give a live commentary on the specific incident;

Fast forwarding the initial scenes we are now at the scene where Draupadi is in the court yard and us the Pandavas all having our heads bent, Dukshadhan starts to pull the saree and Draupadi calls for our help, and we are not helping her as we were slaves ourselves, so she calls Lord Krishna and Lord Krishna appears (he was my class leader hmph). So Dukshadan started pulling the saree bit by bit, we can see it going and going but unfortunately the final pin was not intact with the Draupadi’s shorts that the saree came out fully and Draupadi was standing there with shorts.

The entire school started laughing. The guy who played Draupadi was so embarrassed, that’s when our Arjuna came to the rescue with his presence of mind, he stood up and said, “Hail Krishna, the mighty lord, you are simply great, you have given shorts to Draupadi to protect her modesty, Jai Sri Krishna…” the whole college burst into laughter and claps and whistles were on my way. After this I always got the plump roles…

April Fooler...

2009-04-02T16:49:00.003+08:00

Dear all,

How did the day go yesterday? How many of you fooled others and got fooled by others? Well I fooled 31 just with a status message “Arun Kumar is getting married…you are invited…ping me for more details...thanks to astrologers”.

Ha Ha Ha… I am giving you the excerpts of the chat scripts… and special thanks to G3 akka for your post here, appreciating/depreciating me.

Nithi: congrats

me: Thanks :)

Nithi: who is she

me: that XXX girl u know her right...

Nithi: humm dont know i thnik

me: please keep yourself free in July... Marriage at thanjavur, everyone will be invited from your class and you know her

Nithi: hey r u serious

me: she is in my orkut albums will someone joke on this?

Nithi: i thought u r joking

me: because the astro guys said now or never

Nithi: u can and are oh ur Mom agreed to it

me: yes yes- she only checked the astro guy fixed this thing i told her no marriage before 28 but she said now or never as per horoscope so fixed it...

Nithi: y a XXX y not an Indian

me: I dont mind an Indian - but u dint say yes… only this XXX girl said yes so had to marry her

Nithi: parra humm nice to hear

me: :) dont forget to be free in July...

Nithi: but to say the truth i cannot believe this

me: no one can infact even i cannot

Nithi: :D any ways one word of caution be careful since she is of different culture

me: lol about? he he he she is more indianish than me :P

Nithi: really then its not a problem

me: yeah yea...she wears saree

Nithi: but born culture cannot be done away with

me: she likes cooking, she likes kids, she likes doing house works

Nithi: super.. y she likes u.. lolz

me: ha haha opposite polls attract u see

Nithi: ya

me: innaiku Date enna Nithi?

Nithi: oh my god

Archie: hey arun.. hw r u? u gettin married.. ??

me: Hi yes same thing happened in ya life, Joshiyum and stuff

Archie: great so wen is the weddin

me: July... with that XXX girl I told u :) at Thanjavur :)

Archie: oh ok.... congrats da

me: will u be in India? Thank u :)

Archie: whts her name

me: Good dowry u know:P

Archie: heheheh ada paavi.. nuthin planned as yt of me bein india da

me: yeah her dad is gifting me an Audi :P

Archie: oooooo

me: and setting up a law firm in delhi :)

Archie: nice.................. amzinnnnnn congrats da

me: Thank u :) thank u :)

Archie: fixd a date?

me: her name is Penelope Cruz and marriage on July 32nd :P check today's date :P

Archie: poda looosu..........................

me: ha ha ha

Archie: thedi vandhu matinendaen

me: ha ha ha ha

Reena: congrats u just told me not now good for u

me: thank u thank u :)

Reena: same girl ?

me: yes the XXX.. it came just like a bolt in the clear sky because of the astrologers

Reena: good before London? after London? in London?

me: before London..

Reena: in singapore or india ?

me: India… Chennai..

Reena: congrats

Me: btw what day is today?

Reena: check with ur astrologers

me: April 1st :P

Reena: so "U" got fooled by ur astrologers

me: i dint meet my astrologers yet but someone congratulated me sometime back for my not so near marriage :P

Reena: thik hain coffee cancel

me: ha ha aha ha wont u check the date everyday ?

Reena: i am aware this time i didnt fool ne one

me: lol but got fooled by me :P

Reena: uff

Kirthi: WHAT?

me: sss :D Astrologers made it happen :) ask Amma in July marriage

Kirthi: congrats!_____? indian wedding?

me: ss of course Thanjavur Tamil Wedding :)

Kirthi: or christian kalyanam? NICE!!! :) :)14:29 congrats!

me: thank u thank u keep yourself free in July trip to thanjavur

Kirthi: certainly i will make it!! :) dei is this an April Fool Joke :P

me: appa kirthi finally u got it :P

Kirthi: lol :) Mad fellow

akansha: congratulations are under way then... :P

me: thank u thank u

akansha: penelope said yes ?

me: nope yaar.. its arranged marriage :(

akansha: hmm... kisse? ;)

me: some software engineer in chennai.. mom has looked for me... engagement and marriage in July

akansha: u r srsly gettin married? :-o

me: yes why wat u thought?

akansha: ohh... bye bye bachelor hood then

me: that girl is a software engineer + model + theatre artist so mom thought she will be the better match lol yes.. but astrologers said either to get married before august else no marriage for life...

akansha: hehe... perfect fr u then...:D what happens to ur play now? :P

me: may be i will act with her ;)

akansha: ohh... so when u r studyin in UK, wat will she be doin?

me: studying in UK canceled...i am planning to set up my office in Delhi and Chennai and practice…her father is setting her up a boutique shop in both these places

akansha: s/w engineer.... boutique?

me: if he continues to be a software engineer she will be transferred naa? so i suggested her to start a boutique

akansha: hmm....

me: as its her area- i mean fashion designing

akansha: k...ur lyf seems to hv gone topsy turvy within d last 3 dayzzzz..... :P

me: ha ha ha

akansha: no srsly... 3 days bk u were lik i m goin to UK... n now i m setting offices!

me: yeah life is not stable

akansha: so unstable! wud scare me off....

me: he he he saggitarian re wat to do

akansha: arrey i m a saggi too

me: btw do u know wat day is today???

akansha: SHIT

me: :P

akansha: arrrggghhhh! i m a non believer fr d rest f d day

akansha: i feel lik strangling ur throat rght now

me: he haw he haw he haw

akansha: hw many hv u fooled abhi tak?

me: 10 to 15

akansha: arrgh!

me: he he he he

Abinav: dude

me: yes da

Abinav: sorry forgot the date

me: :P

Abinav: took ur status message seriously for a munite

me: wish pannathanae vanthey lol :P ha ha ha vidu u r the 24th victim

Abinav: pozhappa paunga da dei… iddellam oru pozhappa

me: :P

Abinav: dinner innikku erangathu unnala

me: lol :P neraya perukku erangathu

Kanagu: hello boss

me: hi nanba

Kanagu: epo kalyanam??

me: appuram kalyanam july la

Kanagu: oh.. july la yah?? enga.. chennai ah spain ah? or thanjavur??

me: thanjavur

Kanagu: invite pannuveengala??

me: kandipaa ithu enna kelvi boss.. aana innaiku enna datenu nyabagam illama emantha 23rd aalu neenga :p

Kanagu: oh.. cha.. modhal liye karthik ku ping pannama vittutane ..oh god

me: :P

Subz: u r kidding :P

me: hey no its true its in July dont forget u r the bride;s maid

Subz: who??______?

me: yes

Subz: :O tell me d full masala

me: ok what happened is amma saw some astro guy and he said i shud get married before august else no marriage

Subz: oohhh andddd

me: so she spoke with _____ and its fixed :)

Subz: andddd?

me: we are getting married in July

Subz: wow!!!!!

me: btw welcome to the club u r the 26th victim check the date today :P

Subz: bloddy idiot!!!!! by the way 27 and 28 r my parents :P

me: :P ha ha ha u told them too :P ha ha h aha

Subz: idiot

skkrithika: hi whats this?

me: hey hi yes will send the invites soon July marriage

skkrithika: where is the wedding

me: some astro stuff amma said - ______ is the girl.. Wedding at Thanjavur..

skkrithika: cool is the date fixed? what astro stuff?

me: yes july 12th

skkrithika: wow!!!!!!!!

me: some astro guy said i shud get married by August this year

skkrithika: how come anni agreed to it

me: else will never get nmarried she said yes ... my mom spoke to her

skkrithika: ooooooooooooh how come anni agreed to it ok ok

me: krithika welcome to the club u r the 25th :P innaiku date enna

skkrithika: anna come back to india you gonna be smashed

me: :P

Me: Hi sou

Sou: hellooo congrats da

Me: thanks for what???

Sou: hahahahahahaha u gettin married rite?

Me: lol so u r the 30th :P I guess its still April 1st in US :P

Sou: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr poda.. No body fooled me other than u today huh

Me: ha ha ha ha ha ha..... U r the 30th so chillax... :P

Sou: grrr poda

varna: r u gettin married???

me: yes in July dint i tell u? i guess I told u

varna: nope cool whr?

me: ok July I am getting married to that XXX girl... Thanjavur...some astro guy told my mom that I shud get married before august else i wont get married at all...

varna: wow wow...

me: so in JULY btw u r the 31st fool :P

varna: wat abt her family?

me: to fell for this :P

varna: chi chu chi i knew this… thats y i tried not to ask u

me: nambiten :P

varna: cudnt resist da paavi

me: ha ha ha LOL :P

varna: chi panni poda

BTW

Do these people still believe me???

(In tamil) என்ன இன்னுமா இந்த ஊரு நம்பிக்கிட்டு இருக்கு?

With Love,

Lancelot

Happy Birthday to Think Adroit

2009-03-28T00:30:00.007+08:00

Four years back there was this guy at Chennai in a law school, who was Mr No One. He can’t speak good English, he is not hip, he doesn’t know what is the difference between Pop- Rock- Hip Pop, he doesn’t know who George Clooney is, and he was Mr No One. No one in the college trusted him, no one believed him, no one thought he will be a success story, in fact Mr No one himself thought he will be no one after his law school. That’s when our Mr No One met Mr X and they became house mates. Mr X influenced Mr No One to a great extent and made Mr No One as Mr Some One. Later Mr Some One met Mr X’s friend Mr P who was equally motivating Mr Some One. The best thing in life was to be believed and trusted by someone who is nowhere related to you by blood, who is nowhere indebted to you by any means, who just see you as a person of some substance, who appreciates you for what you are, that alone will motivate you to go higher and higher. Mr X and Mr P are such persons in Mr Some Ones life. Mr Some One had also some financial hicks as he was a student but Mr X and Mr P understood it greatly and always took him out to good hangouts at Chennai, never left him in alcoholic meetings, though what Mr Some One was able to contribute was his presence. So Mr X and Mr P are a great reason for what Mr Some One is now. Later on their friend Mr J came into the scene and he was nowhere less than them, he helped in polishing Mr Some One’s Statement of Purpose to UK universities.

Now these guys Mr X, Mr P and Mr J all worked in a Call Centre, ONE NIGHT AFTER THE CALL CENTRE, they thought enough is enough to be a stereotype and decided to set paths to others and wanted to be their own employers, and they planned and started their own company at Chennai. During their planning, their execution Mr Some One was a spectator and for being a spectator Mr Some One was given the post of the Company’s Legal Counsel- Mr Some One’s first job, first clients even before completing his law degree- yes because they trusted him and for this Mr Some One will be grateful to them till the end of the world. Now the introduction scene in the order of appearance:

Mr No One/Mr Some One – Lancelot Arun

Mr X – Xavier

Mr P – Prasanna

Mr J – Jude

The Company – Think Adroit

Think Adroit

Yes, my dear blog mates exactly one year back (on 27^th March 2008), my very own friends, started their, it also includes me so let me put it as our dream company THINK ADROIT and now it’s the first birthday of Think Adroit.

I take this opportunity to wish our own child Think Adroit a very happy birthday and I pray that it should grow forever and ever. To know more about Think Adroit click on their website. They provide the following:-

“Communication Skills Course

A smart initiative designed by Think Adroit offers a wide range of short term and long term training programs on various skills for desirable number of hours. The program is designed to understand and implement the "arts and science" of "learn to learn" skills which enhances your personality so as to be competitive and successful in social and business life.

About the program

Our interactive training courses combine real-world experience and education to determine and implement the best solution. Our focus is on ensuring your success as any trained work force results in better productivity towards the organization's growth

Courses are customized by the expert professionals in the field of training. The model was developed based on our observations.

Highlights

Program duration is proportionate to desirable training experience hours, thereby "Lean"
Adopted techniques which have been proven effective without having to spend longer hours in any other conventional Training
Lets you gain the "urge to learn" attitude of a child
Explore your limits to gain an edge and keep testing the edge.
Speaks to the needs of the customers and create 'value' as perceived by the competitive world

Pay Offs:

Upon completion of this program participants will be able to:

Plan more effectively to improve your Language skills

Learn and Practice Phonetics, Pronunciation, and other language structures
Workshops are very effective because of their simple structure and lucid manner in which they are facilitated.
Program is relevant, useful & the learning process is stimulating & interesting.

Email – info@thinkadroit.co.in”

If someone ask me to bet on Micro Soft I might think twice, but this is one company I will bet all my stakes. So dear blog mates, please join me and wish us a very very very very very Happy Birthday and support us in whatever way you can, we even respect your prayers for our well being. I dedicate them this song,

Cheers,

HAIL CAESAR (this is for you Prasanna)

With Love,

Lancy

Single Tea with Siluvai…

2009-03-16T16:33:00.004+08:00

Dear friends, I am not allowed to write in my blog today. Some of you know my alter ego “Siluvai”. He usually appears to comment in Kartik’s blog and now he and Nattamai has joined together as copy cats and have started blogging “here”. For the purpose of their copy cats blog both of them were learning English and Siluvai failed in his English exams. In order to practice his English he is blogging here today about various things like Introducing himself, narrating his love story (like how he met his wife Munimma, how they married etc). So, I pity you all and pray that you should not forget English. Let me give way to Mr Saltkottai Siluvai.

“Single Tea with Siluvai”

Ladies and gents, good morning. Me name is Siluvai, I from Saltkottai. I good look. You doubt see pixture this. No face because I show late. That pic I wear is name Lungi.

I today blog. First I see my Kuppam, on English it called Slum. Me one slumdog but no millionaire. This pixture show my slum.

I live 2 houses next to that house. Don’t question interfere. Me job fish catching, I drive ship, I net put in sea, fish catch the net evening, I home bring, Munimma sell fish. I know you question, “Who Munimma?” Munimma my husband and me his wife. Munimma good figure. I first meet in Church on Sunday not in the afternoon, not in the evening but the other time. First meet I shy, she shy, everybody shy. Next meet tsunami. She, I Tsunami hit and put in tree, she catch me I no fall, she life my save. I fall not from tree but fall love in Munimma. But I no not she love me, so I tell her no. One month after I go to tea shop, she come to shop to buy bonda (for non tamils – bonda is one round straight shape eating with hole inside, this hole full of sponge yellow color, with onions, chilli, put in oil, fry eat, tasty good) I see she, she see I. Eye, eye meeting, I tell tea owner, “Sir put bonda well, she my close friend” She smile, she say she go church in evening, I understand she call me to come. Evening I put new underwear, baniyan, lungi, shirt. I go church, she wait church backside, I see she see, we go beach, we sit by the ship. We no talk. It start black sky, moon no, sun no, stars only yes. I see she, I romantic my lips join I go front.

I fear she slap. But I get current shock. She kiss I, I get current shock.

I love she, she love me. We marriage. We buy cow we buy hen. Now we rich we happy.

Me Munimma super figure, structure super when wear Saree. She pixture here. Kartik and other bloggers, she you sister.

Me go now, go to fish inside the sea. How my English? If you like I write else no write.

With loves,

Siluvai.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S & I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W

2009-03-13T10:13:00.006+08:00

Thanks to Moi and Charmed One for awarding me with their prestigious FRIENDS Award. It’s time for celebrations and sharing.

I hereby confirm on all my blog buddies and friends the award of friendship and love…

“Lancelot’s Friends Award”

As there is a criticism that my previous post On award was really long, I hereby give the link of the award of cuteness blog of mine 'Lancelot is Cute' please accept this award if you find your name there.

Apart from that I am also passing on this award to my new blog friends whom I have started to following and who support/bash me all the time.

1) Kriti – from Avalon Theatre Productions – the one on whom I can always rely on - my adviser

2) Annie – Ice Maiden – check out her blog to know why I am following

3) Ramyah – Tiny Brain Thinks – teacher from Malaysia

4) Lena – Colours of my soul – she can paint your souls with her colours

5) Blogger Mouth – Contemplations of a Cranky Kid – She is not Cranky at all.

6) Lynda Akka – Thanks for your support and encouraging comments.

7) Revathi – Ennavan – Tamil Poetess from Madurai.

8) Akanksha – fellow lawyer and bunny of mine.

Please accept your award and honor the award.

In addition the Pakistan Spectator has also interviewed me and the Interview is published. Please click, “Take me to the page where the Indian Brad Pitt is interviewed”

Love you all

Lancelot

Delhi - 6 (Review)

2009-03-09T17:31:00.007+08:00

Delhi 6

This is my second movie review, the first one being on Rab Na blah blah… and please don’t consider the letter to AMPAS as a movie review though it is tagged so. Delhi – 6, lets see what’s in store in that film.

CAST

Abhishek Bachchan as Roshan,
Sonam Kapoor as Bittu
Om Puri as Madangopal
Atul Kulkarni as Gobar
Rishi Kapoor as Ali
Waheeda Rahman as Dadi
Divya Dutta as Jalebi
Tanvi Azmi as Fatima
Deepak Dobriyal as Mamdu
K.K. Raina as Haji Sulamaan
Aditi Rao Hydari as Rama Bua
Supriya Pathak as Vimla
Pavan Malhotra as Jai Gopal
Amitabh Bachchan as Dadaji
Vinayak Doval as Bobby
Vijay Raaz as Inspector Ranvijay.
Cyrus Sahukar as Suresh

CREW

Director: Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra
Producer: Ronnie Screwvala and Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra
Music: A.R. Rahman
Director of Photography: Binod Pradhan
Lyrics and Dialogue: Prasoon Joshi
Story: Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, Kamlesh Pandey and Prasoon Joshi
Editor: P S Bharathi
Action: Allan Amin
Choreographers: Vaibhavi Merchant, Saroj Khan

REVIEW

Story

The story is refreshingly new. Though the Hindu and Muslim riots are already shown in the film Bombay, here it is a hypothetical situation. The movie’s story is based on a concept. Like V for Vendetta and Matrix, only few can understand the concept of this story. Like how Rand De Basanti was made on the back drop of a documentary shoot, this movie has the Ram Leela on its back drop and the flavour of the street theatre is preserved. The casting was amazing. Atul Kulkarni stands tall. Nice touches here and there. For instance in one scene Abishek touches the untouchable Jalebi and gets his hands washed by ash and water by his grand mom, in the next scene the Ram Leela depicts the scene where demi god RAM eats from the hands of Chabri (an untouchable) and Abishek looks at his grand mom meaningfully. The movie’s concept black monkey is used as an allegory to represent the evil that resides inside every man alongside God (virtue). After the film Bombay this is another movie which emphasise on the brotherhood between the religions in India. Everything in this movie is a concept, let it be Gobar taking two one rupee coins instead of a ten rupee note offered to him everytime, or a mad man showing the mirror to everyone and tells them “ I see a mad man in the mirror” or be it kala bandar. The entire movie is made of concepts and needs you to keep your religions and caste aside to understand what it means.

Direction

In Rang De Basanti itself he made an impact and he has lived up to his standards. He appears to me as a deep film maker like Kamalji, as his concept is not understood by many. I look forward to see more such films from him. He gives the medicine to the Indian population in the right way. Hats off director, especially your choice of actors are brilliant. The way he showed Abishek chasing a kite in one of the scenes was linked to the climax scene was marvellous.

Acting

The best casting I saw off late. Each one has played their role perfectly. Atul Kulkarni stands tall of the lot with his solid performance so is Deepak. I fell in for Sonam Kapoor (so Mr Anilji I am forgiving you for your stint in Slumdog as you are a prospective father in law of mine) what curves, what class, *drooling*. Abishek I never seen him as an acor before, but this film proved it otherwise, now I understand why Maniratnam calls him for all his movies (3 in a row). Very realistic acting from the lead pair, you should also acknowledge the fact the cast is powerful and experienced.

Technical

Technical aspects of the film are perfect. Let it be camera or lighting or editing they are exceptionally taken care of. I would give 10 out of 10 for the technical side of the film. Espcially the “Dil Gira Dafatan” song where the worlds of Delhi 6 and New York meet at Times Square, which is amazingly done, in particular the scene where an artist paints Sonam Kapoor, very beautiful.

Music

I suppose ARR was given an Oscar in advance for this movie. “Machakalli” alone is enough to speak for me. Instead of marking the songs one by one I give them all 5 stars. Just to know who sung;

Masakali - Mohit Chauhan

Arziyan - Javed Ali, Kailash Kher

Dilli 6 - Blaaze, Benny Dayal, Vivianne Chaix, Tanvi Shah, Claire

Rehna Tu - A. R. Rahman, Benny Dayal, Tanvi Shah

Hey Kaala Bandar - Karthik, Naresh Iyer, Srinivas, Bony Chakravarthy,

Embar (rap)

Dil Gira Dafatan - Ash King, Chinmayee

Genda Phool - Rekha Bhardwaj, Shraddha Pandit, Sujata Mazumdar,

V.N. Mahathi

Bhor Bhaye - Shreya Ghoshal, Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan

Aarti (Tumre Bhavan Mein) - Rekha Bhardwaj, Kishori Ashok Gowariker,

Shraddha Pandit, Sujata Mazumdar

Noor - Amitabh Bachchan

Disky : 1

Why this movie didn’t do well in the box office is a big mystery to me until I realised, why movies like Slumdog, Nayak, Anniyan, Indian, Rang De Basanti are a hit whereas movies like Anbe Sivam, Delhi 6 are a flop. The other movies has the bad man as a politician, or a slum don, or a government official, so people see it as someone else and they are happy when the bad man is revealed and destroyed. In movies like Anbe Sivam, Delhi – 6 the bad man is you and me – a normal human who has a dark side within him, which is true in all our cases. When such a thing is portrayed we are not ready to face the reality, we cannot see our reflections on screen. The reality slaps at our face and we cannot accept it and give the movie a bad review and make it hit the rock bottom. The character of the mad man who keeps showing a mirror to the people on the streets that says a lot in just the tiny screen space it occupies. It encapsulates the message of the film that God, like evil, lies within and not without. So if there’s any monkey that needs to be killed, it’s the one inside. It’s a message with a heart and mind. The portrayal of Amitabh’s character is a lift from Harry Potter – 7^th Part, where Dumbledore meets Harry in heaven to explain the complex plot of the story. Similarly Amitabh clears the concept of Kala Bandar by saying the monkey within you which comes out and creates the entire nuisance.

Disky : 2

I can relate the story very well to my life as the protagonist in the movie hails from a Hindu dad and a Muslim mom, just like me. He would have felt the same way I felt when the Hindus and Muslims fight amidst each other for silly reasons. Recently I received a forward from one of the fellow law students asking me to forward it to all claiming that Taj Mahal is indeed a Shiv Temple, I replied to all asking them not to forward in order to avoid a recreation of Babri Masjid, as a building should not be a reason for fight among the Religions in India again. You know what, I was no more in the mailing list and that friend of mine stopped talking to me. Is that what you call the NAV BHARATH??? We share Diwali sweets, Ramzan Briyani, Christmas cakes with our friends and neighbours, why can’t we share love also??? Why can’t you or I marry a girl from other caste or religion??? It’s all attributed to the black monkey inside you and me, this movie is an amazing one which makes you to identify the black monkey inside us. Let’s kill it dude and dudettes.

FINISHING NOTE:

Watch the movie at least once, it’s worth watching.

JAI HINDH

Cute is Innocence...

2009-03-06T11:48:00.007+08:00

Thanks to Charmed One for awarding me with the AWARD FOR CUTENESS – “Cute is innocence”.

So people who call me dangerous men (especially you Ms Swathi Paul) think twice about it now as I am awarded with cuteness and innocence.

I am supposed to write 10 things about myself for receiving this award... So bear with me for blowing my own Trumpet (otherwise I am very modest you know)

1. My hair never sets as I comb, it gets ruffled asap. Few like the fringe which falls in my forehead and my mannerism of putting it back. (Though I am now developing the area in my forehead – with hair plantation and stuffs like that I won’t be Deva Gowda anytime soon)

2. My lips get twitched when I smile, its owing to my bunny teeth, I had this bad habit of thumb sucking which led to this twitching lips, but girls find this smile sexy too. (God save them)

3. I am very very clumsy, I cannot serve food for myself without dropping the fork or spoon or the plate, at least a drop of gravy will be on the table cloth or in my shirt but I never spill on others nor clumsy when I serve to others. I am trying to be perfect every time I serve myself and I fail miserably.

4. I am bad with pronunciation in any language it is not voluntary it is quite natural, I always tend to pronounce stuffs in the wrong way quite confidently. The best being pronouncing KUTHIRAI (Horse in tamil) as KOTHARAI and pretended to my sister, I did it wantedly. Then the other one being pronouncing Champagne as CHAMP –AINE and got caught by my classmate, then twisted her by saying only alcoholic champagnes are pronounced as SHAMP – AINE and non-alcoholic champagnes are pronounced as CHAMP – AINE, and she believed it.

5. I am good at lying (yeah that’s why a Lawyer) and acting. But as a policy I can never lie for my own benefits instead I act. For others I am the saviour of their asses when they are in trouble with my lies. Acting – when some one see me they believe I am the St Lancelot the great, many of my friends have told me that their parents have advised them only to hang out with Arun Kumar (he he he…)

6. On Sundays I don’t take bath usually (which 369 out of 365 days) I used to eat bed Dosas without brushing on Sunday’s later realised the taste of Dosa sucks and so I stopped doing that. I am too lazy on Sundays that I even have postponed some hot dates because I had to take bath and shave for that.

7. I lose interest in stuffs quite easily, let it be things or girls, I would attribute this quality to my sun sign which plays a dominant role in me. If I hang around with a girl for more than a month that means she is my girl friend. So it really takes a girl who has multiple personalities to be my girl friend and who is capable of amusing me as different women every other week. I hear only a Gemini and Saggi girl can do such things naturally.

8. I love talking to the mirror addressing myself and singing during shower. I love sleeping- even if you give me a filthy mattress I can sleep in that, I can sleep with eyes open, while in a meeting, while standing and so on. I love fighting both physical and verbal. I never loved reading.

9. I love babies and kids, you should see me playing with my cousins, I become 10-12 again and fight with them equally for everything, the latest being whacked by a 7 year old and 12 year old sisters with a pillow.

10. I love fighting with my sister Jeny, I love telling her stories- I have told her PAATTI PIZZA SUTTA KATHAI, PAATTI BURGER SUTTA KATHAI and so on. She is my life line.

That’s all about me, now I am awarding this Award of Cuteness to the fellow bloggers who are far better than me and who deserve it more than I does and who rocks. Chriz and Moi as you were awarded already by charmed one you are not in this list- but my acknowledgments of you in this list.

TAMIL BLOGS CATEGORY

KARTIK – my good friend, co-accused, my competitor, my fake fighter, my counter dialogueist, what not? You should read his blog to know why we are like this.

KAKI – Dhosth – he is the one who bought the one of a kind into blog world.

G3 AKKA – Fellow challenger of WHO IS THE BIGGEST MOKKAI - she has accepted her defeat though.

AALAVANDHAN ANNA – he likes his brother’s (me) girl friends Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek- Wall E (I mean VAALI in Ramayana). Those who read Tamil must read his blogs.

JAMAL ANNA - Versatile is his name. Check out his blogs.

SIBHI ANNA – I just can’t stop admiring his Tamil and writing – amazing poet. His mantra for success “HAIL NAYANTARA”

KARKI ANNA – the no of followers and hit count says it all – hearty congratulations for his latest 200 in the blogosphere.

VIJAY ANNA – Another hilarious Tamil blogger, if you can read Tamil never miss his blog.

TAMENGLISH BLOGS CATEGORY

One and only, GILS ANNA - he types every Tamil world in English.

ENGLISH BLOGS CATEGORY

RAD MADHAV – the sexiest man on earth (so he claims) – his collection of songs is so cute.

VASAVAN – Dubai Gold Mine Owner – anything about Middle East ask him – he works for Kekraan and Mekraan.

VIJI – Brainless brainy Teacher of Malaysia, but she claims she is a Tamil Pandit.

MS PAN – Chew her Sambhar- You will know what I mean- the amazing poet I have met after my mom.

KIRTHI – Off late her writings are more touchy and sorrowful. I am proud to be her senior.

SENORITA – The best blog buddy, you can never be bored reading her blogs. But she has removed her blog from blogosphere. Hope to see her soon.

RS PRASANNA – theatre time buddy – Amazing writer you should see his writing to know – Mani Ratnam in the making. I wish he comes up with some new films and give me a small role in it.

MEENAKSHI – Again my theatre buddy – she just has written 3 blogs – but if someone is reading this please do visit her blog and read those 3 – mind blowing stuffs – I wish you will voice with me asking her to write more.

VIN – The blogging grandmother of Kartik and me, need I say more?

(Both Sen and Vin on a break now, I take this opportunity to ask them to come back soon, WE MISS YOU)

LV – The cute arguer and ghost writer – you should see the silliest convos we have in her blog.

G3 THANGACHI – of mine and Kartik. Check her ELECTRIFYING (literal) writing in her blog – mind blowing.

THOORIKA – another inspirational writer and a good mate. Don’t miss her short stories.

ELITHRANIEL ARAWION – My latest addictive blog – she is a journalist in the making I am sure she will hit in a high note. Her auto bargaining was hilarious.

KANAGU - The man who tackles the social issues with statistics in his blog. He should be called the blog ulaga vijayakanth.

SWATHI – He He He – yeah that’s what you will do when you read her blogs, she writes once in a while and that will knock you off your chair. I pity her classmates whose Mickey were taken out of them by this devilish girl.

RAMANI ANNA – Tharu Maaru Thilagam. Check him out.

SUCHI & SAHANA – Should write their names together, two fellow Saggi Lawyers and bloggers. Check their blogs to know why I awarded them. Twins is the word (though they don’t know each other), especially their definition of being Conservative in relationships.

LOVE YOU ALL,

LANCELOT

P.S: the lion says, “Arunukku awardaa ENNA KODUMAI SIR ITHU”

P.P.S: I have just started following few others they will be rewarded later.